Author: Sinmi

A Tale of four kings – Part 1

As I hinted in my last post, this new series is going to be about a family. I am going to briefly discussing four generations of this family and examining each person in turn. There will be weekly posts for the next four weeks.

The family is a lineage of kings in the Bible [but I think everyone can (hopefully) identify something they can relate to … so, if you’re not religious, this is not your cue to leave 😌]. They are kings of Judah, the southern kingdom, who lived eons of years ago. The first king we will be looking at is Hezekiah.

King Hezekiah – Patriarch

Enthroned – 25 years old
Tenure – 29 years
Death – natural

I am starting with Hezekiah because I’ve chosen him as the patriarch of this family. I found his story quite interesting whilst reading in the book of 2 Kings chapters 18 – 20 and 2 Chronicles chapters 29 – 32.

Side note – the books of Kings and Chronicles tell the same stories from different perspectives; so, many times they complement one another.

Background

Hezekiah was a good king, a much-needed respite from the spate of bad kings of Judah who had led the people away from God’s ideals. These kings had introduced idol worship and had substituted God for lesser gods who they looked to for their needs. Obviously, God was not happy about this and had been warning the people, through his prophets, to change their ways.

He was revolutionary from the kings who were before him and basically went on a rampage destroying and trying to undo all the damage they did. He actively took on the existing, warped religious system which would have taken a lot of courage. He destroyed many of the altars and tried to set things right according to God’s standard. He did such a good job that the Bible says, “there was no one like him among all the kings of Judah” (2 kings 18 vs 6); he was in a league of his own.

He faced some terrifying times when a foreign king tried to lay siege to Jerusalem (his capital) as well as other cities of Judah. After trying to sort things out on his own (and failing woefully), he asked God for help and God got rid of the bad guys for him.

Around this time, God gave Hezekiah a heads up that he was going to die and basically told him to put things in order (aka do the needful 😅😅). Hezekiah wasn’t ready to die so he asked for an extension, a new lease of life … interestingly, he was granted it. He got 15 (yep that’s right FIFTEEN) years extra.

Hezekiah and prophet

During this time, he made the mistake of showing some foreigners (with questionable motives) his treasures, every last one of them. God had intentionally withdrawn from him to “see what was in his heart” and his actions portrayed elements of self-sufficiency, considering all he had been through with God and come through.

I’ve got some ideas from reading around on the matter.

  • Pride: perhaps he thought to himself that he had overcome both death and war and damnation from his enemies. So, he wanted to show off his majesty and splendor to his visitors.
  • People-pleasing – he might have wanted to impress his visitors (Babylonian) and how relevant he was. The visitors potentially wanted an ally in him and showing them his treasure was perhaps a way of indicating that he would be a good ally and had many resources at his disposal. Ironically, in later generations, the Babylonians captured his son and other generations of Judah and they were exiled.

Back to his mistake, God was not pleased with him, so he sent him a message stating that Judah was going to be destroyed. The people would be captured and taken as exiles to a foreign land. Now back in those days, this was a terrifying prospect. It was not going to be a nice holiday to another part of the world. They would most likely become slaves (even if they became high level officials), they were none the less slaves. This would cause many problems for the people of Judah, such as language barriers, cultural barriers and there were no (perhaps few) human right activists in those days. So, it looked bad all round. Considering how vigorously Hezekiah had opposed and sought help to be free from the previous oppression, he was apathetic about this newly predicted impending doom. As long as he won’t be affected personally by the hardship to come, he was not bothered!

Points

  • Do we really need what we want?

Hezekiah did not want to die and that’s not a bad thing. Most of us don’t want to die yet, if given the option. I’ve previously and even now still pray for people to be healed and life to extended/renewed. When people die, it’s a sad moment and sometimes we ask why and just can’t grasp how someone so good and kind dies presumably before their time.

This story is making me reconsider my approach. Hezekiah wanted more time and yet that extra time he had cost him and indeed his generations a lot. He could have died with his good name and works intact and yet he chose what seemed good.

Sometimes what we think we want is not what we actually need nor what is good for us. Sometimes we pray fervently for someone to be healed and their life extended and yet we do not know why that situation is occurring in the first place.

The sickness he had was not as a result of sin or from the devil or anything like that (as far as I can tell). We are so quick nowadays to view illness or problems as a punishment from God, attack from the devil or consequence of sin. What if it’s none (not always) of those things? How about if we ask about the purpose of the situation?

Am I saying we should never pray for healing (or other situations)? Definitely not! We know that one of the reasons Jesus died was to restore our health so we can ask God for healing. However, it is important to ask and try to clarify what the purpose of that particular situation is. What is God trying to teach me through this experience, as unpleasant as it may be.

When my aunty died, I was absolutely heartbroken. I had so many hopes and dreams for her that were not realised and my heart ached. However, even though my heart aches when I think of her, I know that this happened for a reason. I do not know what the reason is, but God knows. If it was better for her to go than for her to stay here on earth, then I’m fine with that. It’s hard pill to swallow but swallow it I must.

  • Selfishness has consequences

Selfishness may not seem to cost us anything because after all we get what we want right? Wrong! There’s always an aftermath for every decision we take. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction (Newton’s third law of motion).

I’m not sure what other reasons there might be for his apathetic reaction to God’s judgement for his descendants and for Jerusalem, his beloved city.

  • Recognise –> Realise –> Repent

It is not enough to recognise what has gone/been done wrong. We must also realise what the implications of our actions. We must realise and seek to understand the whys. Only then can we truly repent and seek forgiveness from God.

To repent is to do a full 180° (or whatever angle you chose as long as it’s not 360° 😅) and go the other way, the better way.

These are some of the things that I have learnt from Hezekiah’s life. They are MY opinions and one of the free things in life is our opinions. You might disagree with what I’ve written but I hope this has got you thinking a little bit.

If there are other things you’ve noticed please share in the comments below.

Posted on by Sinmi 2

Blugdate – blog update

Hey guys🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️I know it has been forever and I wish (Oh I do 😩) that I had the perfect excuse but sorry to disappoint. There are reasons, some more valid than others, regarding why I have been AWOL but at the end of the day, they are all excuses and for that I apologise … sincerely 😢 I’d love to promise that this will never happen again but I don’t like break

ing my promises.

Never the less, I’d like to explain or at least share some of my reasons with you so that you understand me better as a person, warts and all.

1. I am a bit (depends on who you ask 😏) of a perfectionist. As such I love things to be a certain way (perfect 😂😂) when I present them to you. This means a lot of effort goes into what I put out there (as it should 😉). This also means that sometimes I find that process overwhelming. And the mere thought of going over things puts me off.

This leads nicely to the next point which is very deep and profound.

2. Sheer laziness … 🤫 I know you guessed it LOL! I can be quite lazy sometimes and when you’re already overwhelmed by the amount of work you have to do to make something just right, laziness is just the enemy. I’m sure many of us can identify with having a busy work/uni/**insert daily activities** life and by the time I get back home, I just want to put my feet up, snuggle under a nice blanket and do nothing. This is no good for having a blog that needs content putting out 😅😅

3. Procrastination… this is the first cousin of laziness and perfectionism or maybe its the product of them🤔🤷🏾‍♀️ I don’t know but they all belong to one big, unhappy family. Due to above mentioned points and the law of self-preservation, I decide I can always do things tomorrow or whenever I ’ve got more ginger/inspiration/time/**insert excuse of the month**

Anyway I’d say those are some of the main reasons why ive been MIA. Now I’m back and better (hopefully).

Here are some of the things that pushed me out of my “stupor”.

1. My own consciousness that this blog is my baby and I need to show it some love

2. My friends checking up on me and asking what’s happened with said baby

3. The end of the year looming ahead of me … asking me ‘What have you fone with your blog this year 🤔😯😒

I’d say of these three things, number 2 was probably one of the key factors that pushed me to give myself a short(ish) target and work towards it.

In terms of what comes next, I’m going to be putting out a short series about an old family (all will be revealed inndue course) and looking at someone from each successive generation. I’ll be looking at some of the things they did and discussing how their ancestors might have influenced them. In essence, it is an exploration of how family impacts on who we are and the decisions we make (in a manner of speaking). I hope you do enjoy it and perhaps learn something from it.

Glossary

AWOL – absent without leave

Ginger – now this is harder; nope not the fruit or whatever class it is. It’s a slang word for motivation.

MIA – missing in action

Posted on by Sinmi

Charity begins at home

 

I love God
I’m devoted to him
Wholeheartedly
Anything I’ll do for him
Anything.

I feed the hungry
Help the needy
Carry the burdens of brethren
Visit from home to home
Making sure everyone is okay
Well, everyone except my family
They by default have to be okay.

Being there for them
There with them
That can wait
Ranks low on my hierarchy of important things
Because they are strong.

My wife knows I love her
Sometimes I remember to tell her
But I’m busy with the work of God,
Raising funds for the women’s conference
Doing good deeds
She understands
Surely she does.

My kids
I constantly pray for them
They’ll make it through alright
God will watch over them for me
I’ve got my hands full dealing with His children.

My parents
I know they’re proud of me
They understand why I’ve not called in months
I’m sure they love the house I built them
Never mind I’ve only been there once
On and on the excuses go
Bolstered by an erroneous sense of being indispensable.

If we fail in loving those around us
Those closest to us
How can we effectively love others?
Love by doing
Love by being

Talk is cheap
Your façade won’t last forever
It’ll come crumbling like a pack of cards
Sooner or later
Your family won’t be there forever
Their patience and love aren’t limitless
Don’t be too busy to love those around you.

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Posted on by Sinmi 7

Rights and rites

Aloha! Hope this blog post meets you at the right time! Let’s delve right into this juicy topic that gets me all worked up and going from 0 to 100 at the speed of light … okay maybe not that fast haha!

I read an article a while back (pretty rubbish if you ask me) about the expectations people have about dating. Unfortunately, I can’t remember the title or anything.They gave some cases where boy meets girl and they decide to meet up or start a relationship. However, the girl (ALWAYS 🙄) always expects the guy to basically take on the role of provider. In one instance, the girl brings many people on the date and expects the guy to pay for all of them! Like really?! Anyway, tonight I want to talk about some of these scenarios *in Falz voice* (If you do not know Falz, stop reading and check him out on YouTube … then come back 😉).

Disclaimer – I am not having a go at anyone. No one annoyed me. If you find yourself on this table, it will vibrate till you fall off so just climb down now 😅😅

Date – Bringing a plus x (1 – ∞ (infinity 😉 you’re welcome)

First of all, this is just wrong! Why would you bring loads of people or even anyone to a date someone has exclusively invited you to? If the thought pops into your head, it is a matter of simple etiquette to inform the person who invited you and ask their permission before you turn up with your squad and make a mug of yourself. I personally think it is very impolite to bring extras to a date, especially when you have not informed the other party; more so on a first date (on any date even *side-eye*). I’m not sure why people think it is a good idea and I’m very happy to hear their side of the story (honestly). If it’s a case of not being sure about the person’s motives or whatever, like I said earlier, it’s always better to inform them beforehand before springing a (nasty) surprise on them.

Date – ordering more than you can afford

This is a no-no. scrap that. NO-NO! thou shalt not do this. It just makes me really uncomfortable. Never, ever think it’s your God given right that the person who invited you out MUST pay. Always come prepared with your own money and only order what you can afford with the resources you have (By resources I’m not including your hands for washing plates *laughs in capital letters*)! If you are greedy and order expensive things, that you normally won’t buy for yourself, and the guy decides not to pay, how ashamed will you feel? (Like honestly) Some people might say if someone can’t afford everything on a menu, they should not invite you to such a place. Maybe, maybe not 🤷🏾‍♀️ but you too, some self-respect won’t go amiss here. Also, I should add, if you’re going to invite someone out, make sure you have enough money to provide for both your meals. It doesn’t mean you necessarily have to pay but I think it’s the polite thing to do. Even if the date was horrible, be the bigger person and pay but obviously that’s just my opinion.

Relationship – Maintenance fee (are you a machine or a service? 🤔)

This particular one makes me sad inside. Why should someone pay you to be their significant other? I’m not talking of marriage here (Not that you should be paid for getting married to someone, topic for another day ha-ha, let’s not get carried away). Why should your boyfriend or girlfriend pay you? Let me clarify things a little. Boy meets girl. They like one another and start a relationship, with mutual agreement. Girl/Boy subsequently expects ‘up-keep’ money or an allowance from the other person (beht why) because they need stuff? I think that’s wrong. Now if there is an obvious need and one person has more expenses than the other, it’s sensible that they help the other person. This is not a right, it is not a responsibility, it is ‘sensible’. If he gives you money one month, or she bought you a gift the other day, that does not translate to a regular pattern of giving money or gifts. I am a strong believer of living within your means. Cut your cloth according to your coat! If you can’t afford it, learn to do without it. If you get it per chance, then that’s nice. If you don’t, life goes on. Forget the ‘status quo’. No one should determine what car you drive or what bag you carry or whatever else you think is a reflection of how ‘well’ you’re doing in life. I’m not saying don’t be ambitious. No, be very ambitious and always strive to be a better version of yourself but do it respectfully, not by sponging off others. Haunty *in Jenifa’s voice*, it is not your birth right for your boyfriend to give you a monthly allowance. Huncle (I did not forget you), It is not your birth-right for your girlfriend to buy you expensive perfume (LOL) or give you sex in exchange for gifts or money. Let me quickly move on before I shake this table too much! 🙊🏃‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️

I think these three are enough fodder for today 😥😰 A common thread/theme in these examples is self-respect. I think respect is very important in building our self-esteem (self-image) and our relationships with others. If you respect yourself (adequately), I believe you won’t put yourself in a situation where you are vulnerable, or someone is able to bring shame on you. You would also treat other people with respect by not stepping on their toes and just being ‘generally sensible’. I don’t think people should use any of these three scenarios as a ‘test’ or rite of passage for a potential partner, to assess their commitment. It just might backfire! A word is enough for the wise (😂😂 I laugh a lot, maybe too much 🤔).

So, tell me … what are your thoughts? Do you think I’m talking absolute balderdash? Being too harsh? Unrealistic? Whatever? Please tell me in your comments and share this with your friends. Talk about it, hear other people’s views on this matter!

Posted on by Sinmi 9

Being a woman …

Sorry guys 😦 I know it’s been a minute … or two … or 2 months LOL! I wanted to put a post out last month but it was not ready in time and I just kept procrastinating *🤦🏽‍♀️* Anyway, we’re here now. This is the post that was meant for last month. Enjoy!!

Last month we celebrated International women’s day and Mothering Sunday (in some parts of the world). I’ve also celebrated my mother’s birthday as well my godmother’s. So I am writing this article for all the women out here #dasright

This article is not ignoring or denying the fantastic and admirable things the men in our lives do. This is not emasculating men. It is focusing on the women, simples #okay #onyva #letsgo

First of all, to all the women who go out there and get things done, I applaud you.

Those who feel less than, I encourage you.

To those who are struggling, I remind you that Rome was not built in a day… keep pushing.

To those in dark places, I pray light finds you.

Woman, you are strong, you are resilient, you are a treasure!

You're awesome, dad! (1)

In this article, I’m going skate over two themes briefly; the first being what success means as a woman and the second, women supporting women.

What makes you a woman? Is it just your physical body, boobs etc? Your hormones? Biochemistry? Your emotions? The role(s) you play? I think it’s a bit of everything. If I decided to have my boobs cut off (which I do not #breathe #fictitious #example), it does not make me less of a woman. If you decided you did not want children, that does not make you less of a woman. Never let anyone make you feel less than or incomplete as a woman or a failure because you have done certain things or not attained certain ‘landmark’ achievements. Think about what is important to you, your identity, what makes you you. What is your purpose? How will you achieve it? Break it down into little steps and go out there and do it! I am not saying I have life and everything it entails figured out to a T. I am very much on this journey like anyone else but I hope sharing my musings can perhaps trigger some thoughts of your own.

To me, success as a person, as a woman, is achieving your purpose. A quote I saw recently resonated with me and I’d like to share it with you.

The person doing the most with what he’s got is truly successful. Not the one who becomes the richest or most famous, but the one who has the closest ratio of talents received to talents used.

As women (and people 😉 ), we are all at different phases and stages of life. For those who have already gone through a particular phase, we should understand some of the challenges those coming behind or currently in that phase are facing. The challenges may not be identical but there will be similar themes. As such, we should support one another and offer our advise… not your commandments or the rules to be adhered to #thoushaltnot #dosanddonts.

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. We criticize, condemn, discourage and malign one another and wonder why men don’t stick up for us (I am not exonerating them of blame when it’s theirs). We can’t continuously blame others for all our problems. If we supported one another better, I believe life will be more enjoyable and less stressful for many of us. This does not mean life will be smooth sailing and all our problems will suddenly disappear #iwish #tooright. However, this also does not mean we can never tell people when we think they are doing something wrong, especially if they ask your opinion. This does not equate to advising (more like reminding) people about their weight or marital status willynilly like some people are wont to do #notpointingfingers #notjudging #justsaying. Everyone is ultimately responsible for their actions and in as much as sometimes you can see someone headed for disaster and you seek to avert it, you might not be able to. You can’t save everyone and that’s not your job. Say your bit and face your front! #thankyouandGodbless #forrealtho

Maya angelou quote

In your being real and ‘tough love’, I’ll drop this quote by Miss Angelou #nuffsaid. If you are nasty, then you’ll be remembered for that, irrespective of the truth of your words or the heart behind it. So, think before you speak and speak in love. Ask yourself if someone said this to me, in this exact way, how will I feel? That’s not a foolproof litmus test but it might help *🤷🏾‍♀️*

Posted on by Sinmi 16

Worry

Hallo guys 😊😊 It’s been a minute. Today we’re having our first discussion on mental health. Get strapped in 😉

We all worry. That’s part of life. Sometimes we worry about the little things (e.g. did I get the best apples from the shop) and other times we worry about the big things (e.g. will I get the job?).

I’ll be discussing anxiety in this post. I’ll be defining what it is and things to look out for.

Anxiety, in psychiatry, is usually referring to Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD). However, it may also be referring to anxiety disorders which are a group of disorders which all have elements of anxiety such as Social anxiety disorder, Specific phobia (e.g. agoraphobia), etc. This post will be discussing GAD specifically as it is one of the commonest mental health problems.

The mere fact that you tend to worry about things a lot does not necessarily mean you have anxiety.

To reiterate, we all worry at different times in life, whether our worry is ‘rational’ or not. The mere fact that you tend to worry about things a lot does not necessarily mean you have anxiety. An important construct in psychiatry is the idea that regardless of what ‘problems’ you’re having, for it to be labelled as a disorder, it has to be impacting on your life. This impact may be noticed in different domains e.g. socially, academically or occupationally. Thus, in anxiety, that construct applies. For you to be diagnosed with anxiety, it usually has started impacting on your life in one or more domains.

3.6%
Geographic distribution of anxiety disorders worldwide. 264 million cases (WHO)

A major difference between worrying a lot and anxiety disorder is the fact that the former is short-lived and in relation to a stimulus (e.g. a test or public speaking) whereas the latter is persistent worry in relation to many things even when there are no obvious stimuli (e.g. persistent worrying about losing your job when there are no problems at work or anything to indicate your job might be in jeopardy).

So, what exactly is anxiety?

According to the ICD-10*, it is “A condition marked by excessive worry and feelings of fear, dread, and uneasiness that last six months or longer.” The DSM-V* adds that these symptoms should be present for “more days than not” for the 6-month period. It also adds that the anxiety symptoms should be causing “clinically significant distress or impairment” in important domains as suggested above. Apart from these symptoms, people with anxiety may also develop symptoms like being restless, being tired or irritable, muscle tension, not being able to concentrate or sleep well, shortness of breath, fast heartbeat, sweating, and dizziness. They may also have chest pain or stomach cramps sometimes.

It is important to note that some of the symptoms listed above are physical symptoms which may be attributed to other causes.

It is important to note that some of the symptoms listed above are physical symptoms which may be attributed to other causes. For example, someone having chest pain and palpitations may think they are having a heart attack or heart problems. As such in mental health, it is important to rule out other physical health conditions that may cause similar symptoms.

Anxiety does not have a single cause. It could be genetic in the sense that ‘anxious personalities’ may run in some families. It may also occur following a stressful life event such as divorce or loss of employment. Another cause is childhood trauma.

anxiety
Global prevalence of anxiety disorders (%) WHO

Over 3% of people suffer from anxiety worldwide and it is more common in women. People with anxiety (GAD) are more likely to have other mental health problems such as depression or other anxiety disorders.

It’s not your fault!

If you think you have some of these symptoms and have had them for over 6 months, I would suggest you see your (family) doctor to discuss how you have been feeling and take it from there. Remember, there are tons of people all over the world, having similar experiences, so you’re not alone or weird. It’s not your fault!

There’s lots of help available if you are diagnosed with anxiety. You can have counselling to discuss what you are anxious about. Also, psychological therapies such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help you manage your thoughts, feelings and change the way you behave. It focuses on rewiring the way you think, to make it more positive so your thoughts don’t drag you down the rabbit hole of despair and anxiety.

Also, if your anxiety is severe, you may benefit from some medication. This is a discussion your doctor will have with you if they think you need medication. Antidepressants are commonly used to treat anxiety. However, this does not mean you have depression.

Telling close family and friends may be helpful if you know they’ll be supportive and understanding.

In summary, anxiety is more than just worrying, it’s persistently worrying which has an impact on your life. You are not alone if you have anxiety. There is lots of help for you out there. You may have good days and there may be some bad days as well but overall, I hope you find life enjoyable regardless of whether you have anxiety or not. Telling close family and friends may be helpful if you know they’ll be supportive and understanding.

If you’d like so more information on anxiety, I have put some links below. Also, my references are below if you want to check them out.

For your heavenly Father knows that you need them. (1)

I’d like to leave this final message with you. No matter what’s going on in your life, God cares and wants to be present with you through it all.

Please follow/subscribe and tell a friend. Leave your comments below!

*ICD-10 (International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems, 10th revision) and DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition) are two main diagnostic manuals used in the diagnosis of mental health conditions. ICD-10 is made by the WHO is largely used in Europe (and worldwide really) while the DSM-V is made in the USA and is largely used in the Americas. However, they are both used worldwide. So, I will be referring to them in my posts.

References

http://www.icd10data.com/ICD10CM/Codes/F01-F99/F40-F48/F41-/F41.1

https://images.pearsonclinical.com/images/assets/basc-3/basc3resources/DSM5_DiagnosticCriteria_GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder.pdf

https://patient.info/health/anxiety/generalised-anxiety-disorder

http://apps.who.int/iris/bitstream/10665/254610/1/WHO-MSD-MER-2017.2-eng.pdf

Resources

Anxiety disorders – https://patient.info/health/anxiety

GAD – https://patient.info/health/anxiety/generalised-anxiety-disorder

Young people – http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvice/parentsandyoungpeople/youngpeople/worriesandanxieties.aspx

Anxiety info – http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvice/problemsanddisorders/anxiety,panicandphobias/anxietyphobiaskeyfacts.aspx

Posted on by Sinmi 0

I went to church one evening for a young adults worship night, after much thought and deliberation, you know them days 😉 . We sang a song that night which caused me to consider something that had never crossed my mind.

A line from the song goes:

I will love you Lord my shield

I’ve always known God to be my shield. However, my interpretation of Him being my shield was quite limited. I always thought he was shielding me from external things such as crazy people trying to run me over, thieves, danger, etc. However, this evening, I realised that God is not only shielding me from external dangers and attack, but also internal attack. It’s crazy to consider the concept of internal attack but if you think deeply enough, you’ll realise it exists, maybe has different titles to different people, but it’s the same concept underneath all that.

You might ask what internal attack looks like. I’d say it’s anything that turns you against yourself, any source of internal conflict such as low self-esteem, self-doubt, low self-confidence, etc. Having internal conflict does not mean you’re weak (*insert term similar to weakness). It simply identifies an area of your life, or my life that needs a bit more work. I would say I’m relatively confident, not bags of confidence but enough 😉 When I started working, I had the worst ever case of internal attack. It felt like my thoughts were attacking me, like they hated me. I’m not crazy or being melodramatic, promise #scoutshonor It was horrible! What do you do when you’re both judge and jury for yourself?

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Allow me to set the scene. I was due to start a weekend shift (which is dreadful!) and was understandably worried about it and how I’ll survive the weekend. Going along that night and hearing that line was a breakthrough for me. I realised #eurekamoment that God can and does shield me from the interal conflict I have. I don’t have to suffer through it, endure it, etc. I can give it to God because he is big enough to shield me from external attack and also internal attack! So, I don’t know what’s going on in your life, maybe everything is just peachy or maybe you’ve hit a few bumps in the road, wherever you’re at, know that God wants to be a part of it. He loves you, all of you, not just the neat and tidy parts but also those rough edges, those dark, tarnished spots. Giving it to God is not equivalent to automatic evaporation of the issue. Prayer is not a magic wand. He can make a bad situation ‘less bad’ #dontshootme #iknowwhatisaid So you have nothing to lose!

In my own situation, having that realisation alone was a major victory for me. I was no longer dreading the weekend. I wasn’t ecstatic to be working but I was quite happy to go to work. That weekend, I had help and favour from people and it turned out to be a good weekend! Not necessarily because there was less work, but more because I was at peace, the internal storm previously brewing was calm!

So, i challenge you today. Don’t remain in the vicious cycle of internal conflict! No matter what it is, how bad you think it is or how long it’s been going on for, God wants to come into that situation and bring his peace. He wants to shield you from yourself! Will you let him?

Posted on by Sinmi 8

First of all, introduction

Hallo! Hallo! Top of the evening to you 😀 😀 How’s the new year, month and week going? LOL!

What feels like eons ago, I promised I’ll put a post introducing myself and my blog and I haven’t yet … but the time is NOW *echo’echo’cho’ho’o, like Nigerian movie jingles 😉 * #ifyouknowyouknow I will be outlining what you can expect from the blog because I’m all about #managingexpectations!

My name is Sinmi. I am a newly qualified (in July) doctor, aka FY1; no medical questions allowed #pleaseandthankyou #nocando. My default answer will be see your local GP 😉 😀 I love reading and writing fiction, watching movies and hanging out with friends and family.

it's (3)

For a while now, I’ve wanted to start a blog because of my love for writing, especially because I’ve been ‘slacking’ on the writing front and I want a challenge. I’m also very passionate about everyday life and sometimes have the most random thoughts and what’s better than having random thoughts??? Sharing them with others 😉 🤔 I’m also passionate about mental health; people’s awareness of their own mental health and that of others. There’s a stigma surrounding mental health, particularly in some cultures and societies, so people tend to talk about mental health in a disparaging manner. Nowadays, it’s getting better, people are more open about discussing mental health and seeking help but we still have a long way to go. Phew! That’s my plug on mental health done!

My target audience is everyone who loves life, who thinks they could do with knowing a bit more about mental health and who wants to discuss things that many young people experience. Being Nigerian, I will sometimes address elements of the Nigerian culture and some stereotypes we might have. I do not mean this disrespectfully, neither am I trying to attack nor trivialize the beliefs of some people #honestly #crossmyheart. If I throw shade or shake a table you’re on, simply climb off 🤣🤣

My aim is to post at least monthly on the blog, on the last Thursday of each month. Some months you might get a treat 😀 and get some extra posts because I’m sweet like that. I’ll be doing different types of pieces such as poems, fiction, information pieces, opinion pieces, etc.

I look forward to reading your comments and getting to know you guys and building a community really. As I mentioned in a previous post, please let’s respect everyone on this platform! If there’s ever something you want me to discuss, just write it in a comment or drop me a line!😀😁

Posted on by Sinmi 10

End of year

Happy New Year (1)

Hallo there. So it’s the end of the year and everyone and their dog is writing about their year and their plans for the new year, goals and all that good stuff. So I’ll jump on the bandwagon 😂😂

Nah seriously … it’s been a bit of a funny year for me but I’m not going to bore you with all the details of my year or maybe I’ll just do it next year once the hype has died down 😂😂😉

I’ve got some tips about end of year/new year.

1) Set time aside to reflect on this year that’s ending. Think about the good, bad and ugly parts of the year. The aim is not to be full of regret, self-pity or shame. No, the aim is to celebrate and be thankful for the good moments; to think about what made the bad moments bad and likewise for the ugly.

2) On the back of no 1:

  • write 5 things you’re thankful for. It may be more or less than 5, there’s no fancy reason for 5 😉
  • 5 things you learned from the bad moments
  • 5 things you’d like to improve next year (from the ugly moments) – can be anything e.g. better coping mechanisms, knowing who to ask for help etc.

3) None of these uber unrealistic goals that you make every year and never achieve. I’m not saying don’t dream big or restrict yourself to ‘small’ things. More on that below.

SMART

4) Ask yourself what you want to achieve this new year. Don’t worry if it’s the same as last year. Rome was not built in a day (trust me I’ve been there 😉). Have smart goals this year. Where possible break things into nice, manageable tasks. If possible, share it someone who can hold you accountable!

5) Learn something new (no matter how small); or improve an existing skill.

6) So you don’t think 5 is my favourite number 🤣🤣🤣

On a serious note though, Be hopeful. Don’t let anyone or anything steal your hope or joy this year. Protect yourself. be proactive, have a contingency plan because there will be things this year that may want to cause you to lose hope or steal your joy. It doesn’t have to be something fancy e.g. a song to de-stress, a close friend to talk to, a bible verse to read, you get the picture. It’ll be better if it’s something easily accessible though.

Have a great year ahead!!!

Posted on by Sinmi 8

Christmas

R.E.S.P.E.C.T (2)

Merry Christmas to one and all. It’s the season to be jolly and all that jazz. I would love for everyone to have a swell time at Christmas but unfortunately life happens. I’m not the Grinch, promise.

Truth is, not everyone is jolly and some who are jolly aren’t as jolly as they could be. In fact for some this season is very difficult and that’s exacerbated by the ‘joy’ of everyone. For some, it might be the death of a loved one, for others it might be financial difficulties. Loneliness might be what people are dreading this season.

I’m not saying don’t celebrate Christmas and have a good time but be mindful of others whose day might not be going so well. I’m sure we can all think of someone who might have things rough this season. Spare them a thought and maybe a prayer. Try to reach out to them and try not to use any corny phrases. Let them know you’re there to offer support should the need arise.

Posted on by Sinmi 0