Hey guys!

Last month, I talked about knowing what God’s saying to us so we have guidance for our lives and live according to his will.

This month, I’m talking about the other side of the coin. Once we know what God’s saying, what comes next? In my mind, what comes next is the doing. There’s no point knowing God’s will but not doing it. The blessing and growth come in the doing.

Matthew‬ ‭7:21‬ ‭AMPC‬‬: Not everyone who says to Me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father Who is in heaven.

The emphasis in these verses is on doing the will of God, not merely knowing it.

James‬ ‭1:22‬,25 ‭AMPC‬‬: But be doers of the Word [obey the message], and not merely listeners to it, betraying yourselves [into deception by reasoning contrary to the Truth. [25] But he who looks carefully into the faultless law, the [law] of liberty, and is faithful to it and perseveres in looking into it, being not a heedless listener who forgets but an active doer [who obeys], he shall be blessed in his doing (his life of obedience).

How do we do God’s way?

We could rationalise what God is saying and map out our own strategy to accomplish it. However, this is not the best way to do it. For example, Sarah and Abraham had a seemingly bright idea of how to bring about God’s word, and they ended up with Ishmael. This decision caused heartache for both of them in the long run, but God being gracious, they still got their promised son when they waited on God and did things his way. God has his way of fulfilling his word, and often, it is very different from our way.

Proverbs‬ ‭3:5‬,7 ‭AMPC‬‬: Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. [7] Be not wise in your own eyes; reverently fear and worship the Lord and turn [entirely] away from evil.

Even though we have good intentions (in our consciousness), [our motives aren’t always pure], we don’t have the full picture. As such, the steps that we take might not be in line with the bigger picture God is formulating (has formulated). God doesn’t often tell us every detail of everything that is going to happen. There is a growth and stretching that comes as we journey with him, leaning on him, learning more about his way.

We can not do his will in our strength. We will fail or crash and burn or give up. We need God to strengthen us and sustain us in the doing of his will. His will is bigger than me. I am but a part of what he is doing; a key part nonetheless. He is depending on me to play my part well. Will I be faithful in doing what he has called me to?

God is gracious. He knows our feeble nature. We have a high priest who is very well acquainted with our struggles being like us on earth. He knows we will fail sometimes, get things wrong, and he is ready to set us straight; to put us back on the right path.

God asked me recently what was motivating me regarding an issue, faith or fear? Sometimes, we’re scared of failing, of getting things wrong. This fear is not from God. He wants us to step out. If you believe God is saying to do something, and it matches up with scripture, go ahead and do it, leaning on God each step of the way. If you’ve acted in error, God will redirect you. No experience is wasted. There’s always something we learn.

Sometimes, it might look like nothing is happening. You’re obeying, you’re pressing in, but not seeing the fruit or signs you expect, encourage yourself in the Lord. Remind yourself of his word to you. Remind yourself of his character – he is a faithful God, a good God. Remind yourself of the times he has come through for you.

Lastly, as you journey, check in with God regularly to make sure you’re still on the right track. ‭‭

In 1 Chronicles‬ ‭14:9‭-‬17‬, the Philistines raided Israel, and David asked God whether to go to war against them, and he obeyed. The Philistines did a second raid, and David asked again, “Should I go up against them?”. He could have assumed he knew what to do based on his last experience, but he did not. He asked God for fresh instructions, how to do things God’s way, and he got different instructions. God brought about his victory in a different way.

In summary, are we willing to do God’s will his way?
• Are you doing God’s will? Are you acting on the word(s) he’s given you? Are you checking in with him regularly?
• Are you doing things your way or God’s way?
• Are your actions motivated by faith or fear?
Are you discouraged? Write the vision down where you can easily see it

Guys I’m here again with my head in my hands looking down in embarrassment. I’ve been AWOL again. Maybe I should change my blog name to AWOL Blogger. Anyway I’m not going to make promises I might not be able to keep so let’s get right in.

Growing up I had ideas about the kind of parent I’ll be, kind, easy-going etc. As time has gone on, those ideas have changed and been refined. I’ve realised that perhaps agreeing to everything your child wants is not the most important aspect of being a parent.
In more recent years, I’ve taken the stance that while I’ll be strict, I’ll be fair to my kids. I won’t shout, smack or be overly restrictive.

Then life happened 🤣🤣 My young cousins (one teen and one preteen) spent some time with us (my siblings) in our house and I had a small, very small taste of parenting. I slipped into some roles and behaviours that surprised me. Oh I shouted, got upset, etc. I didn’t smack though, that I can remember sha. But I thought to myself, “this is so hard”. These young people can literally get on your nerves even though you love them so much.

I had to think fast. My initial knee jerk reaction was not how I wanted to go on. I wanted to be more like the parent I’d envisioned being. Something had to change. I am something. Something is me 😯😲

A period of introspection was in order for me. I realised I had a lot to learn. Even though the context was different, I found myself making comparisons with my own upbringing. The differences were stark. The cultural context was almost entirely different. When I was growing up in Nigeria there was an inherent respect and fear built into us such that there were things we wouldn’t dream of doing as children. Like talking back or walking out when your parent or adult was speaking. Or even not responding when being spoken to. The balls I definitely didn’t have but even the liver was not up to the task.

Did I get frustrated with my parents and adults in general, of course. But I found ways to channel or resolve my frustrations without being rude. My parents were not shouty or prone to smacking to be honest. My mum was quite soft and expressed her displeasure in gentle ways. I respected my mum but was never scared she would hurt me. My dad would scold but also would not insult me or hurt me physically or verbally. If you ask me, I think I was a pretty good child but I know I must have been annoying and misbehaved sometimes and I think I have to applaud my parents for how they handled those (rare haha) occasions. I’m making these points because I know some of my friends and classmates did not have the same experience I had.

Bringing it back to me, having thought back to my experience of being parented and my ideas on how to be a good parent, I crystallised some ground rules and behaviours for myself going forward.
I decided that, as much as I could, I was not going shout. I would express why I wasn’t pleased and what made me upset and I’d give them a chance to fix things. If I felt myself getting riled up, I’ll leave the situation and come back later when I’ve simmered down.
I would apologise when I’ve overreacted or conducted myself in a manner which goes against my ethos.
Being gracious and knowing kids would do things wrong sometimes, I would try not to rehash their past sins and temper my current upset with a reminder of the fact that I also make mistakes.
When I feel I’m not being listened to, I give a few chances to remind them what they need to be doing and what the end goal is. If that yields no result, I would leave them to their devices with a reminder that actions have consequences, not in a threatening way but in a “this-is-how-the-world-works” way.

I’ve also bought some audio books on parenting and parenting teenagers specifically.
I have a lot to learn still and I’ll never know everything there is to know about parenting. While the world is constantly evolving, throwing out new challenges for parents, there are some things that will never change; perhaps new names and expressions of existing challenges.
It takes a village to raise a child.
It takes an intentional person who is willing to learn and forgive themselves where they make mistakes.
It takes the grace of God.

Big applause to all parents out there and to everyone who is parenting someone no matter how small you think your contribution is. You’ve got this! It’ll all be worth it in the end (hopefully).