Hello lovelies 😊😊 I’m sorry my post is a day late 😔 I want to be a queen that’s on time.
A few months ago, someone asked me, “what do you think of when you think of godly friendship?”. The word that kept coming to me was “psychological safety”. Obviously, this is reductionist in the sense that a single word can not capture the full breadth of friendship, but for me, that was the word that stuck in my mind. Since then, I’ve been pondering psychological safety, and really, I think it’s a continuation of a thought process or discussion God has been having with me.
Psychological safety is a phrase commonly used in the business world and workplace to describe the feeling of being able to speak up without fear of criticism and exclusion. This concept also applies to relationships on all levels, but in those circles it’s often called emotional safety. Because the term psychological safety is what stuck in my mind, I’m using it for the purposes of this post.
The importance of safety in relationships cannot be overemphasised. Without safety, the relationship’s depth is stunted. My relationship with God, with myself, and with others, all require a measure of psychological safety. We all have an innate need for safety and security and we seek to meet that. Sometimes, we even go to extreme lengths to meet that need. Often times, we downplay the importance of this need or perhaps are oblivious to it and how it affects our relationships.
The bible repeatedly paints a picture of a God who is a safe space for us. For example,
Proverbs 18:10 AMP “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; The righteous runs to it and is safe and set on high [far above evil].”
A major obstacle to building psychological safety is fear. Fear of rejection, of not measuring up, of not belonging, fear of punishment. At times, we might think this safety (from the verse above) only refers to safety from physical danger but physical danger is not the only form of danger out there, coming against us. The weapons vary and psychological danger is very much a weapon. Whether it is real (in an externally validated way) or it’s perceived (internally), it’s still real to the person experiencing it and requires a solution.
Until we attain a measure of psychological safety within our relationships, we will be stunted versions of ourselves.
We might be doing well, and people think we are absolutely smashing it, but in reality, that could be a fraction of what we have the potential for. We were called to live life abundantly. That’s what our saviour died for. He didn’t die for us to merely be “okay”. He doesn’t measure us up against the standards we set for ourselves but against the potential he has placed in us. The applause of man is not the applause of God. Yes, he is happy for every step you take and the progress you make but he yearns for you, for me, to truly see all that he has planned for us; to broaden our minds to match up with his vision for us.
Another command and encouragement we see repeated throughout the bible is “Do not fear”. Fear limits. It limits the attainment of our goals and limits the enjoyment of those goals, of life itself.
I believe love is the answer to psychological safety. Not the theoretical love we know but that which resides in our hearts and has trickled down into our unconscious world. The love that casts out fear, that pure love of God. When we truly know in our knower (a deep, intuitive gut sense) that we are loved, we know that we can be safe.
1 John 4:16 AMP: We have come to know [by personal observation and experience], and have believed [with deep, consistent faith] the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides continually in him.
Let’s look together at 1 Corinthian 13.
“Love is patient and kind” – when we know and experience this love which doesn’t say “This is your third strike and you’re out”, it’s easier to own up to our faults and mistakes. It’s easier to bring things to the light, which we would rather remained hidden. When we know that we have a kind God, who doesn’t tut at us and treat us with disdain because of our flaws, we are more likely to let him in on all the things he already knew about us before the beginning of the world. It’s not that God doesn’t know these things, but he wants us to trust him with them.
“Love does not demand its own way” – the love of God compels us to obey his will. He does not demand it. He gives us a choice and advises us to choose obedience and choose life.
2 Corinthians 5:14a AMP “For the love of Christ controls and compels us”
“Love keeps no record of being wronged.” Our God doesn’t say “Wow again? I thought you said sorry for this yesterday and swore blind you’d never do it again”. When we repent, he is faithful to forgive us and cleanse us of unrighteousness. He remembers our sin no more. This is not a “get-out-of-jail card”.
Romans 6:1-2 AMP “What shall we say [to all this]? Should we continue in sin and practice sin as a habit so that [God’s gift of] grace may increase and overflow? Certainly not! How can we, the very ones who died to sin, continue to live in it any longer?”
We sin and fall short constantly, but (hopefully) not because we are unmindful or uncaring about his sacrifice for us. The more we experience his love, the less we want to hurt him by our actions and inactions. The more we experience his love, the more we seek to do his commands. Having a “free pass” mentality of God’s grace is evidence that his love has not been fully formed in us.
“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance”. His love never gives up on us. When you know that you have a solid rock who is going nowhere, there’s safety in knowing you can keep coming back. He’s not going to lose faith. He hopes the best and believes the best about you. He endures through everything you put him through and still has his arm open wide to fetch you back to his side.
1 Corinthians 13:8b NLT But love will last forever!
Now this is obviously the love of God which we (should) all aspire to practise in our own lives. God’s love is the perfect template of love. He is love personified. Intellectual knowledge of God’s love, as majestic and marvellous as it is, does not guarantee me psychological safety. I have to experience it on a heart level.
Through his sacrificial love, Christ gave us the opportunity and privilege of belonging to his family as children of God. We have been adopted into the household of faith and we have a seat at the table. We are welcome into God’s presence to develop intimacy with him, father to child. In our father’s house, we will never be rejected or asked to leave. We can always be assured of our place and because of that, we have safety to be ourselves. We can come as we are, with our flaws and graces, knowing that he will lovingly transform us into the people he called us to be. His love accepts our present state but loves us too much to leave us as we are. He calls us to partner with him to fulfil our potential; without fear of failure, abandonment, or rejection.
Dear Lord, I thank you because the entrance of your word brings light and illuminates things that were previously hidden. Lord, there have been times I haven’t felt safe to express how I feel to myself, to others, and most importantly to you. I know that you won’t judge me, but a part of me still fears what your reaction might be to my flaws and the parts of me I don’t like. I know you love me deeply, and perfectly, and your love casts out fear. Lord, I ask that you fill me with a greater measure of your love, experientially, such that there is no space for fear to remain in me. I am very grateful that I’ve been adopted into your family, and that I belong here with you. Your love will never give up on me. Thank you, Lord. I love you, amen
I hope May had been good to you and you’ve had some public holidays to rest up.
I’m doing a 3-part series on this blog over the next 3 months. It’s titled “What’s love got to do with it”. I hope you enjoy it.
Do we desire unconditional love? Of course we do; We were built to seek and receive love. There is only One person who can love you unconditionally. I hate to break it to you But it ain’t your man or your woman, It ain’t your mama or your pops, It definitely ain’t your friend or your siblings. Only God, the One who is Love personified can truly love you unconditionally! Human beings may try to love you unconditionally, But it is a process.
The people who love you are not being wicked by not loving you perfectly, By being conditional in their love, consciously or unconsciously, They most likely have good intentions. The issue is that they are flawed; Just like you are, just like I am For all their good intentions, they will make mistakes. So, when you expect standards only God can attain from people, You can be sure you’ll be disappointed. When that disappointment occurs repeatedly, it can lead to frustration And with enough time that leads to anger. Anger can express itself outwardly or inwardly and lead to separation.
1 Peter 4:8 says above all, most importantly, love each other deeply … Above ALL Above all the irritations Above all the imperfections Above all the repetitions of the same mistakes Above all the pain they have caused you Above all the disappointments
[A quick caveat here to say I am NOT talking about abusive relationships Abuse is not compatible with life and I don’t just mean physical abuse Abuse kills something in you, every time] Above all, love each other deeply
… Because love covers a multitude of sins Multitude is a whole lot You can’t count it. …. Of sins That seventy times seven type of forgiveness Is a requirement for this kind of love. It is not easy, Not by any stretch of the imagination. It is very hard, But we are called to love deeply, To increase our capacity to love others.
Out of the overflow that we receive from the love that our Lord and our Father both lavish upon us, We can love each other deeply. Our love can increase in capacity such that it stretches to cover the multitude of sins. To cover something, you have to acknowledge that it is there. You can’t cover nothing. You can’t ignore something on one hand and confront it on the other hand. The love we are called to is not one that pretends. You can only pretend for so long And build resentment Till an explosion happens.
Love confronts issues with grace and kindness Love confronts issues, prepared to forgive, whether the person is sorry or not; Whether the person recognises the error of their ways (as you perceive it) or not; Whether the person has an appreciation for the hurt they caused or not; Love confronts because the alternative is a gradual death of that love. Issues that are not confronted become poison. Some poisons don’t kill you immediately; Ask people with asbestosis. It causes damage slowly until one day you can’t breathe.
I’m not saying any of these things because I’ve mastered it. I’m also trying to live out this truth as I’m discovering it.
It is wise for us to realise on a mind-level but more importantly on a heart-level that while we can desire for people to love us, we are all on the journey of learning to love like God and often times we won’t get it right but we keep trying and growing closer to that day by day.
Lord I thank you because you model for us what love should look like. You loved us before we loved you or even acknowledged you. You desired that this love should be a mark of how people recognise us as your children, by how we love each other. Lord we do try to love each other but we don’t always get it right. We’re sorry for the times we’ve let our flaws and our pride get in the way. Please forgive us. We don’t want to keep going round in circles, making the same mistakes. Lord increase our capacity to receive your love. Let your love saturate our hearts. Out of the abundance of your love, help us to love each other deeply. Help us to forgive each other and let our love stretch enough to cover a multitude of sins and wrongdoings. Lord we desperately need your help, in your mercy will you come to our aid, in Jesus name, amen.
Hope you had a lovely Easter. As you probably know, in the Christian tradition, we’ve just celebrated Easter when we remember that Jesus died for us and God raised him to life again. The hope we have in Christ hinges on his resurrection. Last week, I was in church on Easter Sunday, and I felt God remind me to be hopeful. He said, “Never let anything prevent you from being hopeful.”
God’s message reminded me of the period late last year into early this year when I felt hopeless. I was very disappointed, and although I knew theoretically that things won’t always feel that way, that truth did not sink into my heart. For me, things felt very dark, and despair surrounded me like a fog. The comforting words of loved ones were not getting through the thick fog of despair. At that point, I thought it was too painful to hope again, so I’d just live life not expecting anything because that felt safer; those were lies, though. Lies upon lies.
See the thing about despair and hopelessness is that it not only steals today’s joy but tomorrow’s as well. It relegates life to a mindless existence where you go through the motions. The life God designed was not meant to be that way.
2000 years ago, Good Friday was everything but good. I can imagine the disciples were terrified. Their master and rabbi has been cruified. They’ve seen him die. He was meant to be the saviour, but now there’s no hope. They could not remember all the things he had told them of his death and resurrection. All they saw was the reality that he had died a criminal’s death and their journey of 3 years had come to an abrupt end.
Thank God the story doesn’t end there! Jesus rose on the 3rd morning. Light shone in the darkness, and the darkness receeded. The miracle of Easter is an example of hope; that joy does come in the morning; that the darkness (of the tomb) is not the end of the story.
I’ll be the first to tell you that it’s hard to be hopeful when everything within you just wants to curl up and shut everything out. I don’t have a magic wand, but God’s mercy prevailed for me. People were praying for me, and God broke through to me and lifted the fog of despair. Even at my low points, I knew deep inside that the feelings of despair I felt would not have the last laugh. I knew the feelings were not true, but I was too emotionally exhausted to fight them. I chose to “ride it out”.
I have a few suggestions that can help in those moments and periods of despair and hopelessness.
Surround yourself with people who love you and can hold you up in prayer. Ideally tell at least one person how you feel
Journal if you can. No filters, just raw thoughts and emotions. Write to God
Don’t stop speaking to God. Be angry, be sad, be whatever, but tell him. He can take your emotions. You don’t need to filter anything for Him, he sees it all anyway
Read the psalms – you’ll find something there that reflects your state of mind. Derive comfort from knowing you’re not alone.
Listen to music that can soothe your soul
If you’re going through a rough patch, it might be hard to believe but this too shall pass.
My testimony is that I have hope now. I have faith that God’s plans for me will become a reality. I know and am reminded that whatever happens, I am the beloved of God 💕
Lord, we thank you because you are a God of mercy. We thank you for your mercies, which are new every day. Lord, we receive mercy for today. Let your love fill our hearts. Let us know in our hearts that we are your beloved and nothing will change that. Remind us, dear Holy Spirit, that the power that raised Christ from the dead can also bring life and light from every dark situation we’re experiencing. Reach through the fog of pain and despair and let us experience your embrace. Fill us with your hope for a better tomorrow. Fill us with hope that one day, joy will come in the morning. Thank you, Lord, for hearing and answering our prayers. Amen
Happy Mother’s Day to all who play a mothering role in any capacity. As you nuture the next generation, may you be refreshed by God.
A few weeks ago, I was listening to a sermon, which challenged me. Let me paint a picture. When a baby is small, you provide their food, but as they get older, you expect them to at least know how to warm food for themselves. The preacher made a point that as we mature as Christians, God expects us to do more for ourselves as you’d expect for a growing child. So, at times, God may figuratively tell us “there’s food in the fridge”. He gave the example of David’s response to his family being kidnapped, he strengthed himself in the Lord, i.e. David had a role to play in being strengthened. That was food for thought for me.
Fast forward a few weeks, and I read Psalm 94, and verse 13 caught my eye. It helped that I was reading in the amplified version.
[13] That You may grant him [power to calm himself and find] peace in the days of adversity.
Interestingly, it is a Psalm of David. It reminded me of the concept of being able to do (some) things for ourselves. God gives us the power to calm ourselves. I think sometimes I’ve felt helpless to properly calm myself, or I have covered my discomfort with distractions, which temporarily creates an illusion of calm. I believe God can obviously calm us himself, but he has also equipped us with ways we can calm ourselves, so it’s not an either-or; I think it’s a both-and situation. We calm ourselves, and God calms us.
Looking through the bible, there are several places where the word “calm” is mentioned. Naturally, this is usually in high stress situations, such as the disciples fearing they would be buried at sea while Jesus slept soundly. Jesus spoke to the wind, and there was a great calm, a perfect peacefulness. I noticed that often where calm is mentioned, peace is often mentioned as well. They go hand in hand.
So, given the bible mentions “calm” many times, what does it tell us about how we calm ourselves? I’ll give 3 examples.
We accept the peace Jesus has given us. When he was returning to heaven, he left us with no illusion that our lives would be smooth sailing. Instead, he gave us his peace, which helps us maintain calm and strengthens us for each each challenge as it comes.
Walk daily with God. There’s a peace this brings because as you walk with God, you offload your problems onto him. You exchange your burdens for his yoke, which is light.
Colossians 3:15 AMP Let the peace of Christ [the inner calm of one who walks daily with Him] be the controlling factor in your hearts [deciding and settling questions that arise]. To this peace indeed you were called as members in one body [of believers]. And be thankful [to God always].
Do what God has instructed you. We partner with God to see things happen here on earth. On the surface, it looks as though being calm is passive, but there are things we can do as well. Do songs help you feel lighter? Listen and sing praises to God. Does working out help you feel lighter? Make time to do that. In Exodus 14, Moses tells the Israelites to remain calm; some translations say stand still. Yet the next verse shows God challenging Moses. Yes, be calm, but move forward. You can proceed with calmness because you know the God who goes with you.
In conclusion, we (I) need to be more active about engaging in and with things God has equipped me with to achieve and maintain a state of calmness. I can do this by accepting the peace God gives me; by spending time with him daily and doing practical, pragmatic things he has told me or shown me.
What are your thoughts on this? What other ways can we calm ourselves?
Lord, we thank you for your promise of peace and calm. We are humbled that you would choose to partner with us in making this a reality. Lord, for the times when we’ve been passive and maybe even consumed by self-pity, we are sorry. Forgive us. Lord, teach us how to accept your peace, not just as a one-off but consistently. We receive you as our Prince of Peace.
Lord, we know that you care deeply about our experiences and the state of our hearts, so we share these with you. We willingly tell you the things that want to keep us up at night, and we exchange them for your peace and strength.
Lord, would you open our eyes to the practical ways in which you have wired each of us to decompress, things that might seem trivial but when used well wield great power. Lord, would you remind us of instructions you’ve given us which we may have forgotten and redurect our minds and our feet to the last you’ve put us on. We receive these with thanksgiving; in Jesus’s name, we pray.
Disclaimer – This is quite a long post, so get strapped in. Get yourself a drink or snack. Yeah, treat yourself. You might need it as you read 😆
As you guessed, I want to talk on defense mechanisms today, but probably not in the way you think. Defense mechanisms are unconscious ways in which we protect ourselves from intense emotional stressors such as fear, distress, pain, etc. The stressor might be internal or external. They essentially aim to avoid unpleasant emotions, but they’re often problematic because they leave the actual issue unaddressed and unresolved.
Defense mechanisms affect all our relationships. In my training as a psychiatrist, I’ve learnt about defense mechanisms, but I’ve never thought of them in relation to my relationship with God. A few months ago, I stumbled on an article which was talking about attachment styles (maybe I’ll talk on that someday) and how that (can) relate(s) to our relationship with God and that really got me thinking. So when out of the blues I was thinking of defense mechanisms in relation to God, I was quite excited to think about it more and see what others think. There’s not a lot out there (that I’ve found) on defense mechanisms in relation to our relationship with God, so these are my fresh thoughts. They may be refined over time 😉
Defense mechanisms can be categorised into immature, neurotic (anxiety) and mature. There’s a fourth one that’s sometimes included called pathological or narcissistic (sometimes these are grouped with immature defenses). There are many defense mechanisms, but I won’t touch on all of them. I’ll take at least one from each category to illustrate my point.
Pathological defenses Some examples are projection, denial, and splitting. For example, splitting means having two extremes of opinion or feeling about something. For example, based on what’s happening in my life, I might think God is either good or bad. If I feel God is bad, I naturally withdraw from Him. Truth is, He is always good even when life is not good. He remains faithful when we are faithless. His mercies never cease. They are refreshed daily, whether it feels that way or not.
Immature defenses Some examples are acting out, passive-aggression, and fantasising. With passive aggression, there is a silent hostility where one is generally uncooperative. For example, I feel God hasn’t answered my prayer about something, so I won’t do what He asks me to do but might pretend I don’t understand the instruction. Do not be deceived. God is not mocked. He is compassionate towards us, but we have a God from whom we can not hide. Man looks at outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.
Neurotic defenses Some examples are displacement, intellectualisation, and reaction formation. Intellectualisation sounds like a good one, but it’s not all it’s cracked to be. This is one I’m guilty of. Lord, help me. Essentially, it’s creating distance from unpleasant emotions by hyperfocusing on facts. Instead of taking a painful experience to God, I fill the space with facts about God’s nature (e.g., his goodness) but not in a way that helps me actually engage with that nature.
Mature defenses Some examples are suppression, humour, and sublimation. With humour, you express difficult feelings in a light-hearted way. For example, God is taking me through a tough time, and I joke about how he’s trying to kill me (my flesh). Brother James must have known something about this from what he said in his book (James 1:2-4) 😆 but really, joy is not the same as humour.
So, tying it all together, I’m not saying this absolutely fits, but it can be helpful for us to use this to examine or reflect on some of our responses to God. If you notice similar responses to situations with people, then … you know, maybe you should spend some time thinking about it and taking it to God in prayer.
I would be interested in knowing what you think. I know this won’t appeal to some people at all, and that’s okay. We all approach things in different ways. Be blessed as I end with a prayer.
Lord, we thank you because you’re the omniscient God. You know everything about everything, Lord, and that blows my mind. I thank you that you see the maladaptive ways in which we deal with things and relationships and how that affects our relationship with you as well. Whatever we choose to call it, these issues are present and prevent us from healing and experiencing full freedom and intimacy with you. Lord, we ask that you expose these areas in our lives and help us bring them to you so we can be freed from them and work through them together. Strengthen us, Lord, to face these parts of ourselves that we sometimes like to ignore (denial 😉) and help us to open ourselves to your work in us. Amen.
How’s the new year going? It feels like I blinked, and January flew by. It’s been rapid.
As you gathered, I didn’t end 2024 on a high. I was conflicted on New Years Eve, and it wasn’t a nice feeling. As the days have gone by, things have gotten better.
Although I was upset with God, myself, and just lots of emotions and questions, I love the fact that I have a God who doesn’t shy away from our emotions and pain. He sits with us in our pain, and He longs to bring healing. He brings scripture, songs, and people our way to help us.
A few days ago, I listened to a short clip which was talking about how the church and Christians deal with the issue of pain, in particular emotional pain, be it grief, loss, whatever form it takes. There appears to be a notion that we need to rush to leave that state. This is obviously a generalisation, but I think there’s some truth to it. We struggle to comfort people in pain, as though their discomfort further serves to discomfort us, so we seek to quickly see the end of it. We use some phrases (usually stock phrases) that dress it up as noble encouragement, but it leaves me wondering where the kindness and compassion are. Thankfully for me, God had in his mercy surrounded me with people who, for the most part, have been compassionate and haven’t put pressure on me to “snap out of it.” This is an aside, but I feel the need to encourage us as Christians to be more compassionate. You don’t need to have an answer for someone’s pain. Just let them know you’re thinking of them and that you care for them.
My main point today was to share something I was thinking about a few weeks ago. I was thinking about what remains constant through life’s changes and seasons. Of course, there are quite a few things, but chief of them is love, specifically the love of God. You see, all the time I was upset, one thing I never doubted was God’s love for me. I might not have felt it, emotionally, at the time, but there was an assurance that in spite of things, God loves me. I remember God saying to me that if I’m ever unsure of everything, and nothing feels real, I can always count on his love for me.
These words aren’t platitudes to make you feel better. They’re based on God’s word to us. You might not feel able to access or acknowledge love, but that doesn’t mean it’s not present.
Guys, life is hard. To deny that would be a lie. Some days, your pain or situation would cause you to question a lot of things you took for granted, but God is our present help in time of trouble. You might not feel a spooky presence with you, but you know he can be with you through the people he places around you, who hold your hand through hard times.
One of my aunties sent me some verses to encourage me (after a long period of her listening to me), and a lot of them blew my mind. This one (below), in particular, challenged me a lot. It really made me think and analyse my heart and mind posture.
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to these things, so these are MY opinions, based on my experience.
In summary, I’ll leave you with these three things and end with a prayer. 1. Life gets hard sometimes, but God’s love will never let you go 2. People might try to rush you or even gaslight you, pay them no mind! 3. Take your time and while doing that, be honest with God about how you feel. Don’t say he knows. Telll him with your words; articulate how you feel 4. An extra for those at the back LOL, please let’s be kind to one another. Be compassionate.
Lord, we know that life sometimes hurts, and things don’t seem to make sense. We feel angry, lost, or disconnected from you, but it’s comforting to know that we are not alone in our feelings. David did a good job of capturing some of those emotions we feel, and yet he always came back up, somehow. This gives us hope that joy can come in the morning. We thank you for your love that can withstand any situation or power. We thank you for your love that never ends and never fails. We thank you because even when every structure crumbles around us, we can be sure that we are held by everlasting, all-powerful arms, and we can put our faith in you. Lord send us help from Zion. Place compassionate people around us and, more importantly, teach us to be the compassionate people we’d want to help us in our life’s struggles, amen.
NB – The hyperlinks (underlined words) contains the links to the full verses I’m referring to. Please click on them 🙏
It’s that time of year where we’re reflecting on how the year has gone. The good, the bad and the ugly.
It’s been a hot minute since I shared something personal. This year I have experienced a lot of good things. Many prayers have been answered, many fears allayed and by the same token, many hopes realised. I have truly been loaded with many benefits.
During the latter part of this year, one of my hopes were dashed. Sigh. I’ve been shocked at how much this has cast a shadow on these blessings I’ve just been talking about. It’s almost as though the bitter taste (this has left) in my mouth has erased the memory of the sweetness I enjoyed earlier. It’s so subtle. At times, I find myself thinking this year has been rubbish or my life is just … More recently, I’m catching these thoughts, recognising they’re not the full picture and trying to balance/counter them with the knowledge of the great benefits I’ve enjoyed this year.
It sucks to end the year with this bitter taste lingering on my tongue, in my mind. It’s hard to generate excitement for the year that’s round the corner. (I’m not a fan of suffering olympics, but) I know there are people going through worse things and I really hope they are surrounded by love and find strength to keep going.
To those of us whose 2024 has not panned out how we hoped or perhaps there’s a dream you had that hasn’t come to pass or even crashed and burnt, this post is for us. This too shall pass. Things aren’t always going to look bleak. The pain abates after a while.
There are two songs I’d like to share which I think are beautiful and capture some of the sentiments I’ve shared. I’ll share the Spotify links and YouTube links.
Dear God, I thank you for all the beautiful things this year has brought (please list three things you’re grateful for). You have surprised me and filled my mouth with laughter. I’m grateful for all you’ve done for me and for being my father, my friend. You know that although I’m grateful there are things that have caused me pain this year too; things that I don’t understand; things that cause my hope and strength to fail. Lord I want to be hopeful but it’s so hard. I want to have the right perspective but pain blinds me at times. Lord you are the God of all hope. I ask that you fill me with your hope, your joy and your strength. As hard as it is, help me to trust you and trust in your goodness and faithfulness. My 2025 is in your hands, let it be the year that you have made, one I will rejoice and be glad in. In Jesus name I pray, amen 🙏
Sorry for the abrupt, unscheduled break in transmission. If you’re not new, then you’re probably not surprised as it’s not the first time 🤭 🫠 The last few months have been full of ups and downs, mainly ups to be fair. That’s quite typical of life, isn’t it?
Anyway, this post is going to be different, and I might bring a similar version back in the future. Over the last few weeks, I’ve written some prayers based on bible verses, which I’d like to share with you. First, I’d like to share a prayer that I’ve not written. I found it on a website I’d been using as part of my devotional. It resonated very strongly with me, and when I shared it on WhatsApp, it resonated with some others as well. I hope it blesses someone.
Now, for some of the prayers I’ve written, I know they won’t be for everyone. When I wrote them, I wrote them for myself, but if someone else finds it helpful, I’ll be even happier.
Isaiah 50 prayer Thank you Lord that I am your disciple. Thank you for teaching me. I receive your teaching. Thank you for wakening me daily and wakening my ears. My ears are open to hear you. I will not be rebellious or turn back in disobedience. I receive your strength to obey fully. I am helped by you. I receive your help and empowerment. I recognise your help. I will not be ashamed. I will not be confounded or confused. I am determined to do your will as you reveal it to me, so I set my face like a flint. In Jesus’ name, I pray, amen
Psalm 95 prayer Thank you for being my God. I am so blessed to be the sheep of your hand and to be among your pasture. As my shepherd, you lead me and instruct me on where to go. I thank you because I know your voice and I recognise it clearly as you speak. As you speak to me through this period, Lord help me to maintain a soft heart of flesh towards you. I rebuke, renounce, and refuse any trace of hardness of heart in me. I declare my heart is soft, good soil where your seed can be planted and bear good fruit. As you sweetened the waters at Meribah, please hasten to sweeten this situation also. I do not want to tempt you, grieve, or disgust you like my forebears (the israelites) did. I do not want to experience the work of your judgement. Please help me and be merciful towards me. Help me not to err in my heart, and as you search me, please expose every element of error so that I may repent, be forgiven, restored, and placed back on track. I do want to enter into your rest, and I want to experience and enjoy my promised land, the land of blessings you have prepared for me. I thank you for all these things I have received from you, my Lord, and my God. In Jesus’ name, I pray, amen
Psalm 55:22 Lord, I thank you for your welcome, your call to me to come with my burdens. You ask me to release the weight of it by giving it to you. You take the weight off me, and I feel so light and free. Thank you, Jesus. You promise to sustain me so I receive your sustenance. You keep me going, Lord, not scraping by but with an abundance of grace and strength. Because I’ve been made righteous by the blood of Christ, in your kindness and faithfulness, you won’t allow me to be moved. I will not stumble, slip, fall, or fail because I am backed by the Most High who doesn’t fail. In Jesus’ name, I pray, amen 🙏
Please let me know what you think of this kind of post.
Hello, my people. Sorry I missed last month 😕 😢 It was not intentional, the month just got away from me. It was like it skipped a few days. Here we are, and June’s almost ended as well.
I’ll just get right into it.
Let me start by saying I don’t think there is any one analogy that fully explains God’s involvement or role in our decision-making and life’s journey. I personally don’t think it’s a linear thing. It can be simple but often is not easy. This is because it’s nuanced and multi-faceted.
Last month, I was thinking of an analogy of what my life is like as a Christian and my decisions, my journey. A phrase popped into my mind, “Ole at the wheel.” 😆 If you’re a football person, you already have an idea what that statement means. If you’re not a football person, I’ll give some context. There’s a big club in an English football league called Manchester United (you’ve probably heard that name). In the last few years, they’ve not been doing well and have had a series of managers with varying results. Ole Gunnar was a manager who had some initial results, but things soon ended badly for the team. Social media was rife with disappointment, and some people coined the phrase “Ole at the wheel” to depict the derailment of the club’s success in the league.
It got me thinking, “Who is at the wheel of my life?” Like Ole Gunnar, am i driving myself into a ditch (insert other obstacle), or am i letting God lead me where he wants me to go. I’ll leave you to think on these verses.
Is God like google maps?
My next thought is, “Am I treating God like google Maps (whose guidance I can ignore)? That i leave or take at will?
If I say God is in the driving seat of my life, where does that leave me? Does it absolve me of responsibility for where the car goes? Am I being passive? Someone without agency? Is there a place to say I should be in the driver’s seat but be directed by God? Albeit in a capacity that far surpasses Google maps. God’s directions are not suggestions. They are instructions and commands, and that’s where the google maps analogy falls down. Google maps can not force you to go somewhere (and neither would God) but can tell you different ways to get to a destination. It can redirect you when you disobey intentionally or accidentally. Sometimes, it will ask you to go back, and other times, it identifies a different route.
God has a will for us, and he has a way he wants to accomplish that will. That way is the solid blue line on your maps, which is the ideal route. Doing things his way is the best (and less painful) way to accomplish his will. It might not be easy but when you think of the alternative of doing things your way, making a mess of things and having to redo things his way, it’s the less arduous way of doing things. In his mercy, in spite of our flaws, stubbornness, and misadventures, God is able to bring good out of our journeys. He weaves it all together and brings us to an expected end, and the glory goes to him.
Takeaway (No, not food)
Who do I think should be at the wheel of life? How have I come to that conclusion? Can I explain this to someone I trust who is wise and godly Do I need to change things in light of this? What do I need to do?
So this time, I’ve left you with questions to ponder. I’d love to know what you think. Talk about this with friends, share it, leave a comment, or message me privately.
Enjoy the rest of June, and I pray July meets you well 🙏 ✨️ 🙌🏽 ❤️
A few weeks ago, I heard a preach (sermon) at my church. It was on friendship with God. I thought I knew where it was headed, but something caught my attention.
The speaker was highlighting the importance of obedience in friendship with God, and that’s what this post is based on.
I was raised in church, and my dad is particularly big on obedience being very important, so I’ve had it drummed into me about obeying God. There are many Scriptures which back this up e.g. 1 Samuel 15:22.
As I’ve grown in church, there has also been this concept of friendship with God. I think because of the expression of church (charismatic) that I participate in and the part of the world that I’m in, I have internalised a specific idea of what friendship with God looks like.
When I think of what friendship is, I think of warm, fuzzy feelings, a best friend who I can tell all my secrets, who can support me when I’m weak and who can share my joys. I think of commitment. I think of someone on my level (so to speak) who I have banter with and can joke with, etc. I have us both on the same level essentially, even with older friends whose age difference and experience I respect. When I apply some of these ideas to my friendship with God, they don’t translate perfectly. While God is closer than anyone can be and wants to know my deepest desires and have real intimacy with me, we are not on the same level. I can’t bring God down to my level. He is my friend, yes, but before he is my friend, he is God Almighty. My friendship with him should not bring irreverence. My friendship with God should not detract from the awe and fear that his presence commands. Familiarity should not blind me to the fullness of who God is.
I have never thought of obedience in the context of friendship. Because I’ve thought of being on the same level as my friends, I don’t see obedience as something integral to the relationship. However, with God, obedience is essential, regardless of what lens or perspective through which im viewing our relationship. I was struck by the simplicity of John 14:15 in stating how interwoven love (read friendship) and obedience are.
I can’t claim to love God if I don’t obey his commands.
Command – This suggests that God’s words are not merely the suggestions of a friend that you can take or leave. They are not optional extras that have no bearing on the integrity of the relationship. Actions speak louder than words, and here, God is saying that if you truly love me and value our relationship, you’ll do what I say. When it’s easy, when you get it, when it seems unclear or even dangerous. If my love was measured by my obedience to God, how would I fare? Would I measure up? Am I doing the barest minmum? Am I just coasting along? Am I being intentional and seeking out what he says? Am I being faithful with what he’s told me to do?
[Disclaimer – there’s always more depth to be attained in my love for God, and I could never match his love. That’s not the intention. The idea is this, based on what I am capable of doing, how much am I doing?]
I need to re-examine my relationship through this lens and ensure that I am living a life of obedience to God.
Doing things for God (aka service or sacrifice) is great. It is encouraged. But doing what God has asked you to do (obedience) is a higher priority. If you obey, you will surely be sacrificing as well. A lot of what God asks us to do requires sacrifice, but the issue is that sometimes we want to choose what we should sacrifice instead of what he requires us to sacrifice.
If you would like to watch the sermon that inspired this post, click the link below 👇🏾
I’ll leave you with a beautiful hymn that I grew up listening to
Breathe 
