Category: Uncategorized

Who’s at the wheel?

Hello, my people. Sorry I missed last month 😕 😢  It was not intentional, the month just got away from me. It was like it skipped a few days. Here we are, and June’s almost ended as well.

I’ll just get right into it.

Let me start by saying I don’t think there is any one analogy that fully explains God’s involvement or role in our decision-making and life’s journey. I personally don’t think it’s a linear thing. It can be simple but often is not easy. This is because it’s nuanced and multi-faceted.

funny-ole-at-the-wheelDownload


Last month, I was thinking of an analogy of what my life is like as a Christian and my decisions, my journey. A phrase popped into my mind, “Ole at the wheel.” 😆  If you’re a football person, you already have an idea what that statement means. If you’re not a football person, I’ll give some context. There’s a big club in an English football league called Manchester United (you’ve probably heard that name). In the last few years, they’ve not been doing well and have had a series of managers with varying results. Ole Gunnar was a manager who had some initial results, but things soon ended badly for the team. Social media was rife with disappointment, and some people coined the phrase “Ole at the wheel” to depict the derailment of the club’s success in the league.


It got me thinking, “Who is at the wheel of my life?” Like Ole Gunnar, am i driving myself into a ditch (insert other obstacle), or am i letting God lead me where he wants me to go. I’ll leave you to think on these verses.

Is God like google maps?

My next thought is, “Am I treating God like google Maps (whose guidance I can ignore)? That i leave or take at will?

If I say God is in the driving seat of my life, where does that leave me? Does it absolve me of responsibility for where the car goes? Am I being passive? Someone without agency? Is there a place to say I should be in the driver’s seat but be directed by God? Albeit in a capacity that far surpasses Google maps. God’s directions are not suggestions. They are instructions and commands, and that’s where the google maps analogy falls down. Google maps can not force you to go somewhere (and neither would God) but can tell you different ways to get to a destination. It can redirect you when you disobey intentionally or accidentally. Sometimes, it will ask you to go back, and other times, it identifies a different route.


God has a will for us, and he has a way he wants to accomplish that will. That way is the solid blue line on your maps, which is the ideal route. Doing things his way is the best (and less painful) way to accomplish his will. It might not be easy but when you think of the alternative of doing things your way, making a mess of things and having to redo things his way, it’s the less arduous way of doing things. In his mercy, in spite of our flaws, stubbornness, and misadventures, God is able to bring good out of our journeys. He weaves it all together and brings us to an expected end, and the glory goes to him.

Takeaway (No, not food)

Who do I think should be at the wheel of life? How have I come to that conclusion?
Can I explain this to someone I trust who is wise and godly
Do I need to change things in light of this? What do I need to do?

So this time, I’ve left you with questions to ponder. I’d love to know what you think. Talk about this with friends, share it, leave a comment, or message me privately.

Enjoy the rest of June, and I pray July meets you well 🙏 ✨️ 🙌🏽 ❤️

Posted on by Sinmi 6

Friendship with God: love and Obedience

Hello, my lovelies 😍

A few weeks ago, I heard a preach (sermon) at my church. It was on friendship with God. I thought I knew where it was headed, but something caught my attention.

The speaker was highlighting the importance of obedience in friendship with God, and that’s what this post is based on.

I was raised in church, and my dad is particularly big on obedience being very important, so I’ve had it drummed into me about obeying God. There are many Scriptures which back this up e.g. ‭1 Samuel 15:22.

As I’ve grown in church, there has also been this concept of friendship with God. I think because of the expression of church (charismatic) that I participate in and the part of the world that I’m in, I have internalised a specific idea of what friendship with God looks like.

When I think of what friendship is, I think of warm, fuzzy feelings, a best friend who I can tell all my secrets, who can support me when I’m weak and who can share my joys. I think of commitment. I think of someone on my level (so to speak) who I have banter with and can joke with, etc. I have us both on the same level essentially, even with older friends whose age difference and experience I respect.
When I apply some of these ideas to my friendship with God, they don’t translate perfectly. While God is closer than anyone can be and wants to know my deepest desires and have real intimacy with me, we are not on the same level. I can’t bring God down to my level. He is my friend, yes, but before he is my friend, he is God Almighty. My friendship with him should not bring irreverence. My friendship with God should not detract from the awe and fear that his presence commands. Familiarity should not blind me to the fullness of who God is.

I have never thought of obedience in the context of friendship. Because I’ve thought of being on the same level as my friends, I don’t see obedience as something integral to the relationship. However, with God, obedience is essential, regardless of what lens or perspective through which im viewing our relationship. I was ‭struck by the simplicity of John 14:15 in stating how interwoven love (read friendship) and obedience are.

I can’t claim to love God if I don’t obey his commands.

Command – This suggests that God’s words are not merely the suggestions of a friend that you can take or leave. They are not optional extras that have no bearing on the integrity of the relationship. Actions speak louder than words, and here, God is saying that if you truly love me and value our relationship, you’ll do what I say. When it’s easy, when you get it, when it seems unclear or even dangerous. If my love was measured by my obedience to God, how would I fare? Would I measure up? Am I doing the barest minmum? Am I just coasting along? Am I being intentional and seeking out what he says? Am I being faithful with what he’s told me to do?

[Disclaimer – there’s always more depth to be attained in my love for God, and I could never match his love. That’s not the intention. The idea is this, based on what I am capable of doing, how much am I doing?]

I need to re-examine my relationship through this lens and ensure that I am living a life of obedience to God.

Doing things for God (aka service or sacrifice) is great. It is encouraged. But doing what God has asked you to do (obedience) is a higher priority. If you obey, you will surely be sacrificing as well. A lot of what God asks us to do requires sacrifice, but the issue is that sometimes we want to choose what we should sacrifice instead of what he requires us to sacrifice.

If you would like to watch the sermon that inspired this post, click the link below 👇🏾

I’ll leave you with a beautiful hymn that I grew up listening to

Posted on by Sinmi 2

A simple prayer 🙏 🙌🏽

Sometimes, we overcomplicate prayer, and this can make prayer a daunting, insurmountable task that we’re doomed to fail at. So, of course, we fall at the first hurdle because in our minds, we don’t think we can do it or be good at it.
Today (the day I wrote this) as I started listening to a preach/talk, a phrase popped into my head. It is a simple prayer, one that is always relevant, always useful, and speaks to God’s heart. It can be used alone or in conjunction with other prayers.

Be it unto me according to your word oh God

No matter what is going on in your life, these words will always be relevant. Sometimes, they will be very hard to say and actually mean, but they will never be the wrong thing to say.

As I wrote this, I was reminded that we have a beautiful example in Mary, the mother of our Lord, who said these words. She must have been perplexed, confused, and dumbfounded. Not only will she be pregnant by God’s spirit, but her aged relative will also have a child. What’s Mary’s response? “Let it be done as you have said”. She doesn’t know how it’s  all going to work out. She doesn’t have a precedent to relate this to; she doesn’t have all the answers and yet she says “Let it be according to what you have said” because she knows God’s word will never come to destroy but to build and mould us into his vessels.

There are different ways to pray with this verse, and I will list three of them:

Praying this by “itself”

Praying this by “itself”, you can draw on God’s word to you.

Lord, I know you have great plans for my life, and you have made me for a purpose. Lord be it unto me according to all that’s written in your book for me.

Help me, Lord, to know what your plans are for me and how to fulfil them. Help me to stick to the path you have set for me so that my life can be all that you have in mind for me.

Praying it with general scripture

Sometimes, it feels like we don’t know what God is saying specifically to us,  perhaps about a situation or about our lives in general, and we don’t know what to pray. There’s a treasure trove of promises in the Bible waiting to be discovered. With the age of the Internet, you don’t have to be a bible scholar to find the promises. All you need is Google and Internet connection. Search God’s promises about x or bible verses about x, and you’ll be surprised at what you find. I’ll encourage you to read, not just the verses in isolation but the chunk of scripture that it’s a part of. Present what you read to God. For example, Lord be it unto me according to your word. Your word in Proverbs 16:3 states that I should commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. So Lord, I commit my ways and works to you.

Lord, sometimes I don’t know what to do but I trust that you will guide me because your word says in ‭‭Isaiah 30:21 AMPC‬‬ “And your ears will hear a word behind you, saying, This is the way; walk in it, when you turn to the right hand and when you turn to the left.” So Lord, I declare that my ears are open to hear your voice, and I walk in obedience to your word.

Praying it with a specific promise God has given you.

Lord, you have said concerning me that x. Lord, I agree with your word. I say Amen, be it unto me according to your word.

So this month, why don’t you give this a go, when you feel stuck, worried, harried, content, agree with God regarding what he’s said about you. The more you agree, the more that’s internalised, and you manifest what you say. You build up a faith in you that spurs you onto good works. The internal work that is being done in you will become apparent, and you will bring glory to God. That’s the sum total of our lives, to bring glory to God.

This is not to say this is the only way to pray. That’s the beautiful thing. There are so many ways to pray. This can be a starting point for you. Whatever way you pray, you can be sure that God hears you. Sometimes, there’s a tyranny of choice, and we feel paralysed or unsure  how to proceed. This just helps to simplify things.
God bless you.

Be it unto you according to God’s word for you!

Posted on by Sinmi 0

Doing God’s word

Hey guys!

Last month, I talked about knowing what God’s saying to us so we have guidance for our lives and live according to his will.

This month, I’m talking about the other side of the coin. Once we know what God’s saying, what comes next? In my mind, what comes next is the doing. There’s no point knowing God’s will but not doing it. The blessing and growth come in the doing.

Matthew‬ ‭7:21‬ ‭AMPC‬‬: Not everyone who says to Me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father Who is in heaven.

The emphasis in these verses is on doing the will of God, not merely knowing it.

James‬ ‭1:22‬,25 ‭AMPC‬‬: But be doers of the Word [obey the message], and not merely listeners to it, betraying yourselves [into deception by reasoning contrary to the Truth. [25] But he who looks carefully into the faultless law, the [law] of liberty, and is faithful to it and perseveres in looking into it, being not a heedless listener who forgets but an active doer [who obeys], he shall be blessed in his doing (his life of obedience).

How do we do God’s way?

We could rationalise what God is saying and map out our own strategy to accomplish it. However, this is not the best way to do it. For example, Sarah and Abraham had a seemingly bright idea of how to bring about God’s word, and they ended up with Ishmael. This decision caused heartache for both of them in the long run, but God being gracious, they still got their promised son when they waited on God and did things his way. God has his way of fulfilling his word, and often, it is very different from our way.

Proverbs‬ ‭3:5‬,7 ‭AMPC‬‬: Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. [7] Be not wise in your own eyes; reverently fear and worship the Lord and turn [entirely] away from evil.

Even though we have good intentions (in our consciousness), [our motives aren’t always pure], we don’t have the full picture. As such, the steps that we take might not be in line with the bigger picture God is formulating (has formulated). God doesn’t often tell us every detail of everything that is going to happen. There is a growth and stretching that comes as we journey with him, leaning on him, learning more about his way.

We can not do his will in our strength. We will fail or crash and burn or give up. We need God to strengthen us and sustain us in the doing of his will. His will is bigger than me. I am but a part of what he is doing; a key part nonetheless. He is depending on me to play my part well. Will I be faithful in doing what he has called me to?


God is gracious. He knows our feeble nature. We have a high priest who is very well acquainted with our struggles being like us on earth. He knows we will fail sometimes, get things wrong, and he is ready to set us straight; to put us back on the right path.

God asked me recently what was motivating me regarding an issue, faith or fear? Sometimes, we’re scared of failing, of getting things wrong. This fear is not from God. He wants us to step out. If you believe God is saying to do something, and it matches up with scripture, go ahead and do it, leaning on God each step of the way. If you’ve acted in error, God will redirect you. No experience is wasted. There’s always something we learn.

Sometimes, it might look like nothing is happening. You’re obeying, you’re pressing in, but not seeing the fruit or signs you expect, encourage yourself in the Lord. Remind yourself of his word to you. Remind yourself of his character – he is a faithful God, a good God. Remind yourself of the times he has come through for you.

Lastly, as you journey, check in with God regularly to make sure you’re still on the right track. ‭‭

In 1 Chronicles‬ ‭14:9‭-‬17‬, the Philistines raided Israel, and David asked God whether to go to war against them, and he obeyed. The Philistines did a second raid, and David asked again, “Should I go up against them?”. He could have assumed he knew what to do based on his last experience, but he did not. He asked God for fresh instructions, how to do things God’s way, and he got different instructions. God brought about his victory in a different way.

In summary, are we willing to do God’s will his way?
• Are you doing God’s will? Are you acting on the word(s) he’s given you? Are you checking in with him regularly?
• Are you doing things your way or God’s way?
• Are your actions motivated by faith or fear?
Are you discouraged? Write the vision down where you can easily see it

Posted on by Sinmi 0

Thoughts on the New Year

‭Happy New Year fam!!! I hope you’ve had some time to rest a little over the holiday season.

At the end of 2023, I came across a scripture (Isaiah‬ ‭53:1‬) ‭which stuck in my mind. It reminded me of a conversation I was having with some of my girls a few days earlier about having a word from God for ourselves.

Isaiah‬ ‭53:1‬ AMPC – WHO HAS believed (trusted in, relied upon, and clung to) our message [of that which was revealed to us]? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been disclosed?


Although this verse is talking about a word that has been proclaimed, it made me think, before a word can be proclaimed, it must first be received by a person.

What word has been revealed to me by God? Do I trust it? How much have I clung to it? Have I received it? Maybe we need to take a step back and ask – Do I even believe that God has a word for me?

I know some churches or ministries have words for the year. You can adopt this, but I believe you can receive a word from God that is tailored to you as well.

Colossians‬ ‭1:9‭-‬10‬ ‭CEV‬‬: We have not stopped praying for you since the first day we heard about you. In fact, we always pray that God will show you everything he wants you to do and that you may have all the wisdom and understanding his Spirit gives. [10] Then you will live a life that honors the Lord, and you will always please him by doing good deeds. You will come to know God even better.

I’d recommend reading up to verse 14 to be honest.

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭7:21‬ ‭AMPC‬‬: Not everyone who says to Me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father Who is in heaven.


It is very important to know what God is saying to you. How do you obey what you don’t know? What do you hold on to when times are super hard and discouraging and bleh?
A yoruba proverb says (I think 🤔) – Nkan tẹyẹ jẹ lẹyẹ n gbe fo. This means you are sustained by what you eat or what nurtures you. ‭‭In this context, what you know about God’s will for you and how you feed yourself spiritually is going to be important for your sustenance.

The journey of 2024 is far. You need something to hold you, to carry you through the year. This is not to say the year is going to be hard or impossible or to be a prophet of doom, but there will be moments that life seems to come at you fast, and you need an anchor.
Will your anchor hold in the storms of life? There is but one anchor that doesn’t shake, and that is God’s word.

Write the word(s) down. You might not be sure, but write down what you think God is saying. Ask him to confirm his word.

Sometimes, we weary ourselves doing things God hasn’t asked of us. We get discouraged, worn out, and give up. Having a chat with my bestie, I was reminded of how important it is to know the season of life you’re in. There are different times and seasons in life. ‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:1‬ ‭AMPC‬‬: TO EVERYTHING there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven.

Doing things out of season requires more effort and can be frustrating without much to show for it. Knowing what the season you’re in, you might better understand your circumstances and how God is working through them to achieve his purpose. You might be less inclined to fight certain things. You might be less inclined to compare yourself to other people and be more content with where you are in your journey.

In summary:
1) Ask God what season you’re in and what he’s doing in and through you.
2) Ask God for a word for you for this season, for directions, encouragement. Write it down.
3) If nothing else, a good thing this year would be to spend more time with God, whatever that looks like for you, and you’ll get to know him better (experentially).

P.S. Life seasons don’t often run in calendar cycles, but this is a new year, so a chance to remind us all 😉

Posted on by Sinmi 0

Who told you?


Who told you that you were naked?

That your nakedness was shameful

That your nakedness was exposure

That your nakedness was ugly

He saw you all along

And said that it was good

You were good

 

Who told you that your words are weak

And hold no power

That your words cannot move mountains

That your words cannot bring life

That your words cannot bring healing

He said you would say to this mountain, move and be cast into the sea

And it would

But only if you believe in your heart.

 

Who told you that you had to go this road alone

That no one can be trusted

That no one cares for you

That no one sees your struggles

He saw you under the fig tree

Before anyone saw or found you

 

Who told you that you are anything but beautiful

That you are unlovable

That you have to change to be acceptable

That you are not enough

Before he formed you, he knew you

He called you wonderful

 

Who told you that nothing good ever comes from Nazareth

That things would never change for you

That the light will always elude you

That the tears will last forever

He is here weeping with you

Wiping away your tears

Giving you hope that no one can take away

 

Who told you to hide your light

To run away from your calling

To bury your gift

The servant with the talent was dismissed

The whale gave Jonah up

Your light needs to go on a stand

For all to see

For his glory to be revealed

For his will to be done.

 

Whose report shall you believe

The life-giving one or the alternative

Choose life and live.

Choose life and live

Choose life and live

Choose life and live

Choose life and live!!!

Posted on by Sinmi 4

Parentish

Guys I’m here again with my head in my hands looking down in embarrassment. I’ve been AWOL again. Maybe I should change my blog name to AWOL Blogger. Anyway I’m not going to make promises I might not be able to keep so let’s get right in.

Growing up I had ideas about the kind of parent I’ll be, kind, easy-going etc. As time has gone on, those ideas have changed and been refined. I’ve realised that perhaps agreeing to everything your child wants is not the most important aspect of being a parent.
In more recent years, I’ve taken the stance that while I’ll be strict, I’ll be fair to my kids. I won’t shout, smack or be overly restrictive.

Then life happened 🤣🤣 My young cousins (one teen and one preteen) spent some time with us (my siblings) in our house and I had a small, very small taste of parenting. I slipped into some roles and behaviours that surprised me. Oh I shouted, got upset, etc. I didn’t smack though, that I can remember sha. But I thought to myself, “this is so hard”. These young people can literally get on your nerves even though you love them so much.

I had to think fast. My initial knee jerk reaction was not how I wanted to go on. I wanted to be more like the parent I’d envisioned being. Something had to change. I am something. Something is me 😯😲

A period of introspection was in order for me. I realised I had a lot to learn. Even though the context was different, I found myself making comparisons with my own upbringing. The differences were stark. The cultural context was almost entirely different. When I was growing up in Nigeria there was an inherent respect and fear built into us such that there were things we wouldn’t dream of doing as children. Like talking back or walking out when your parent or adult was speaking. Or even not responding when being spoken to. The balls I definitely didn’t have but even the liver was not up to the task.

Did I get frustrated with my parents and adults in general, of course. But I found ways to channel or resolve my frustrations without being rude. My parents were not shouty or prone to smacking to be honest. My mum was quite soft and expressed her displeasure in gentle ways. I respected my mum but was never scared she would hurt me. My dad would scold but also would not insult me or hurt me physically or verbally. If you ask me, I think I was a pretty good child but I know I must have been annoying and misbehaved sometimes and I think I have to applaud my parents for how they handled those (rare haha) occasions. I’m making these points because I know some of my friends and classmates did not have the same experience I had.

Bringing it back to me, having thought back to my experience of being parented and my ideas on how to be a good parent, I crystallised some ground rules and behaviours for myself going forward.
I decided that, as much as I could, I was not going shout. I would express why I wasn’t pleased and what made me upset and I’d give them a chance to fix things. If I felt myself getting riled up, I’ll leave the situation and come back later when I’ve simmered down.
I would apologise when I’ve overreacted or conducted myself in a manner which goes against my ethos.
Being gracious and knowing kids would do things wrong sometimes, I would try not to rehash their past sins and temper my current upset with a reminder of the fact that I also make mistakes.
When I feel I’m not being listened to, I give a few chances to remind them what they need to be doing and what the end goal is. If that yields no result, I would leave them to their devices with a reminder that actions have consequences, not in a threatening way but in a “this-is-how-the-world-works” way.

I’ve also bought some audio books on parenting and parenting teenagers specifically.
I have a lot to learn still and I’ll never know everything there is to know about parenting. While the world is constantly evolving, throwing out new challenges for parents, there are some things that will never change; perhaps new names and expressions of existing challenges.
It takes a village to raise a child.
It takes an intentional person who is willing to learn and forgive themselves where they make mistakes.
It takes the grace of God.

Big applause to all parents out there and to everyone who is parenting someone no matter how small you think your contribution is. You’ve got this! It’ll all be worth it in the end (hopefully).

Posted on by Sinmi 2

The “C” Word …

Hey guys 🙂

Thank you for all the lovely feedback and engagement from my last post. It meant a lot to me ♥️

Today is all about closure.

What is closure?
For me, having closure about something is being able to resolve that issue and move past it, having learnt what led to the outcome and perhaps how to mitigate that outcome in future. The Cambridge dictionary isn’t far off and defines closure as “the feeling or act of bringing an unpleasant situation, time, or experience to an end, so that you are able to start new activities”.

Many a times when there is a break down in a relationship, usually romantic, (but applies to all sorts of relationships,) people look for closure and some people would go to any length to get this closure. The ideal of having closure seems synonymous to healing; being able to move past the situation and progress onto other things.

A few months ago my relationship ended and I have had many internal conversations with myself regarding several aspects of my relationship and trying to understand why certain  things happened. Many times I have convinced myself that I need closure and that could only be gotten by having a discussion with my ex. However I’ve never really made it to that discussion… yet.

I have had discussions with friends (male and female) regarding this need for closure. The conversations have been different. My female friends are generally more encouraging to pursue closure if I feel that would help me understand things and perhaps be able to file my experiences away and move on.

My male friends were more likely to discourage me from actively seeking a discussion as a means of getting closure. They raised points such as the futility of this conversation in changing past occurrences and also whether it might be beneficial or detrimental to myself or my ex.

To be very honest I have struggled with the idea of needing closure. I thought it was an essential part of my healing/recovery journey. It’s important to note that I didn’t have a nasty break up. Things were very civil and cordial and if I’m very honest with myself, it wasn’t all that much of a shock. However I still felt there was something to be gained by having a conversation post-breakup.

I now wonder whether having closure is overrated and potentially more detrimental to one’s emotional wellbeing. Or is it more a case of how that closure is obtained? Does closure need to involve a discussion or debrief of sorts with the other involved party(ies)? Can I obtain closure by my own internal conversations and perhaps discussions with friends for a more objective assessment?
When is the best time to try to obtain closure?
Does it matter who does the breaking up? So for example if I broke up with my ex would I still have that need for closure or would I have had a good think about things before broaching the break-up discussion?

I think I am currently at the point where I do have closure. I have come about this process by doing a lot of introspection, pouring my heart out to God, talking to loved ones. Are there questions I probably would love answering? Yes. Are they make or break? No. Can I do without them? Definitely. I can genuinely say I am happy and content with where I am. Could that change at some point? Possibly but I don’t think I would be initiating a discussion with my ex. I think I’ve come this far and I am at peace so best to let sleeping dogs lie.

Sometimes when a relationship ends it can be very traumatic and people can feel broken and disillusioned. In that frame of mind, it can be difficult to see through the haze of pain and tears to try and unpack the events which have occurred. On the other hand, when the initial sting of the trauma is gone or ebbing, it might feel like a step backwards to start rehashing what went wrong and trying to make sense of things especially if things were ended in a bad way.

I say all this to ask what do you think closure is?
Do you think it’s overrated?
In your experience, have you found closure helpful following a relationship breakdown?

What are your thoughts?

Posted on by Sinmi 4

I was born into a Nigerian family, to Christian parents. My “Nigerian-ness” influences most of my experiences in life. My whole immediate and most of my extended family were Christian.

To set the scene for today’s piece I would like to provide a snapshot (huge generalisation) of my parent’s experiences of growing up in Christian households. My parents’ generation was quite an interesting one, in their Christian journey. My parents’ generation of Christians were often evangelical, charismatic, and quite radical. They believed in speaking in tongues and the movement of the Holy Spirit. They believed that their faith should overtly influence how they live their lives. Consequently, believed that their parents (my grandparents’ generation) were more ritualistic Christians and did not have the true faith but were more bogged down by doctrine such as the catechism, organised religion etc. as opposed to the spirit.

In turn, my grandparent’s generation of Christians viewed my parents’ generation as fanatics, radicals. They often scorned them and ridiculed their faith and their eagerness to pray and evangelise and enjoy those things. I heard stories of them being locked out or banned from attending prayer meetings.

My parents’ generation had to really fight for their faith even though they were born into Christian families. They had to fight for the right to practise their faith the way they believed to be right. Because they were persecuted by their parents, they had to own their faith.

Fast forward to my lifetime, from an early age, I was raised to be Christian, attended church and had Christian practises such as reading the bible and praying were instilled in me. I remember my dad telling me I gave my life to Christ when I was about 3 years old. I have no recollection of that. I have no recollection of most things that happened when I was young to be fair. It makes me wonder whether I understood what I was saying at the time or whether I was just caught up in the “excitement” of what was going on. To my parent’s credit, my dad believed that once you’re of age, everyone should confirm what they believe. As such my siblings and I were all baptised as teenagers and became confirmed in the Anglican church. [Usually, the Anglican church practises infant baptism with godparents to guide your spiritual development and when you’re of age, you, the now more mature individual goes through a process to help you to confirm your faith in Christ.]

In my opinion, while it is great being born into a Christian home of my parents’ generation because it affords the opportunity to know Jesus from an early age, to learn about him and see him at work in your parent’s lives, it is not (always) smooth sailing. It is easy to believe that because you are in that environment, you’re also a Christian. As a Christian child, you learn the right things to say to “please” your parents. Christianese rolls off your lips like a dialect. You attend Sunday school, church, house fellowship and learn about the bible and God. You’re gathering information for your memory bank but it could be just that – acquiring knowledge that can be easily regurgitated to convince your parents that you’re on the straight and narrow, when internally, your heart’s not changed. You might be finding your way but not quite there. It’s not really your faith, it’s your parent’s faith and you’re just “doing it” to either keep the peace, because it’s nice or because it’s just what you do, your family tradition and not a heartfelt conviction.

Speaking for myself, over the years, at several times I have become a Christian and rededicated my life to God because it was just quite easy for me to coast and just passively absorb tons of information. I’ve had my ups and downs, no doubt, like everyone else. Sometimes it was difficult when you are struggling with your faith because there is an expectation (verbalised or not) that when you’re a Christian kid, you should be at a certain “level”. You’ve been given everything, so what do you need? “You didn’t have to suffer like we did so what’s the issue?”

At the crux of all of this is the fact that every person would come to a point in their life or several points where they have to decide for themselves what they believe, whether they were born in a Christian home or not. You simply cannot inherit your parent’s faith nor can your parent’s faith save you. You have to decide for yourself.

So, I encourage you, if you’ve lost your way, you feel a bit far from God or you’ve never really made that decision, there is no time like the present. It doesn’t have to be complicated, simple is best. There is no shame, God can handle everything, warts and all. He already knows anyway so you might as well own up to it. He loves you and wants the best for you. He wants your heart.

I don’t have it all figured out, I’m not perfect at all but I am on this journey, and I am so glad at the end of the day, I hope he’ll say well done.

Be blessed!

Posted on by Sinmi 0

Love is …

Hey fam bam 😊😊


It has been a minute and a half hahaha! I have been lazy and just absent. I am going to try to be more consistent. I’ve got an accountability buddy so here’s to hoping.

 I’m going to be writing about love. Love is one of the most used words in our culture today. We love that shoe, that dress, that show, and the list goes on. Needless to say, love means different things to different people and in different contexts too.

A popular school of thought is “love is a decision/ choice/ action”. That’s not wrong but I’ve recently experienced stirrings in my heart that I did not consciously choose which caused me to rethink my stance on that school of thought. I think it’s a valid point but I don’t think its captures the full scope of love but I suppose that’s a big ask. Perhaps no one school of thought can fully explain or describe what love is.

I’m going to be discussing love from the romantic angle. That’s my context. I think love is a journey. It unfolds in phases.


The first phase is the recognition that you’re feeling some type of way about someone. These feelings can creep up on you and you ask yourself when did I start feeling this way about person A. Why do I smile when I think of them? Why is it that I can’t wait to see them again? If you decide to explore or rather submit yourself to love, then things move into the next phase.

The honeymoon phase – during this phase your (official or unofficial) partner can do no wrong. The sun shines out of them. You just can’t get enough of them. Every minute without them is spent waiting for the next time you see them. I remember thinking I’ve just spent the whole day with this guy so why do I miss him already? 😢 😔 These feelings can be so strong that the ferocity of it can be surprising.


I thinks there’s another stage here. I don’t know what it’s called but it’s the “in between” stage when the dust is settling but you’re still quite excited by this person. 

Decision-making phase- the flames are no longer jumping to the sky and the fuel has settled. Now things are in a steady state. You still love this person and want to spend time with them  but it’s not all consuming. There’s a steady comfort in knowing this person is yours. Your own tribe and cheerleader. Your forever 💛…

It is at this stage that love becomes more than a feeling. It becomes a daily choice. You choose this person when they’re being annoying and when they being amazing. You choose them when its hard to forgive and when you’re full of warm, gooey feelings. You choose when you’ve had a hard day at work and when you’re on a baecation. You choose them when reality sets in and things can feel mundane. Sometimes when we’re at this stage, its easy to question whether you really love this person because your love has changed its expression, its form.

Embrace your love whatever stage it is at. Don’t get complacent. Be intentional about making things special, making them feel special, connecting deeply, having a laugh. Check in with your partner regularly – are they happy? Is there something they’d like to work on? Is there something they would like to see more or less of?

Love is a beautiful thing ❤ It changes you positively … if you let it.

Posted on by Sinmi 0