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I went to church one evening for a young adults worship night, after much thought and deliberation, you know them days 😉 . We sang a song that night which caused me to consider something that had never crossed my mind.

A line from the song goes:

I will love you Lord my shield

I’ve always known God to be my shield. However, my interpretation of Him being my shield was quite limited. I always thought he was shielding me from external things such as crazy people trying to run me over, thieves, danger, etc. However, this evening, I realised that God is not only shielding me from external dangers and attack, but also internal attack. It’s crazy to consider the concept of internal attack but if you think deeply enough, you’ll realise it exists, maybe has different titles to different people, but it’s the same concept underneath all that.

You might ask what internal attack looks like. I’d say it’s anything that turns you against yourself, any source of internal conflict such as low self-esteem, self-doubt, low self-confidence, etc. Having internal conflict does not mean you’re weak (*insert term similar to weakness). It simply identifies an area of your life, or my life that needs a bit more work. I would say I’m relatively confident, not bags of confidence but enough 😉 When I started working, I had the worst ever case of internal attack. It felt like my thoughts were attacking me, like they hated me. I’m not crazy or being melodramatic, promise #scoutshonor It was horrible! What do you do when you’re both judge and jury for yourself?

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Allow me to set the scene. I was due to start a weekend shift (which is dreadful!) and was understandably worried about it and how I’ll survive the weekend. Going along that night and hearing that line was a breakthrough for me. I realised #eurekamoment that God can and does shield me from the interal conflict I have. I don’t have to suffer through it, endure it, etc. I can give it to God because he is big enough to shield me from external attack and also internal attack! So, I don’t know what’s going on in your life, maybe everything is just peachy or maybe you’ve hit a few bumps in the road, wherever you’re at, know that God wants to be a part of it. He loves you, all of you, not just the neat and tidy parts but also those rough edges, those dark, tarnished spots. Giving it to God is not equivalent to automatic evaporation of the issue. Prayer is not a magic wand. He can make a bad situation ‘less bad’ #dontshootme #iknowwhatisaid So you have nothing to lose!

In my own situation, having that realisation alone was a major victory for me. I was no longer dreading the weekend. I wasn’t ecstatic to be working but I was quite happy to go to work. That weekend, I had help and favour from people and it turned out to be a good weekend! Not necessarily because there was less work, but more because I was at peace, the internal storm previously brewing was calm!

So, i challenge you today. Don’t remain in the vicious cycle of internal conflict! No matter what it is, how bad you think it is or how long it’s been going on for, God wants to come into that situation and bring his peace. He wants to shield you from yourself! Will you let him?

Posted on by Sinmi 8

First of all, introduction

Hallo! Hallo! Top of the evening to you 😀 😀 How’s the new year, month and week going? LOL!

What feels like eons ago, I promised I’ll put a post introducing myself and my blog and I haven’t yet … but the time is NOW *echo’echo’cho’ho’o, like Nigerian movie jingles 😉 * #ifyouknowyouknow I will be outlining what you can expect from the blog because I’m all about #managingexpectations!

My name is Sinmi. I am a newly qualified (in July) doctor, aka FY1; no medical questions allowed #pleaseandthankyou #nocando. My default answer will be see your local GP 😉 😀 I love reading and writing fiction, watching movies and hanging out with friends and family.

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For a while now, I’ve wanted to start a blog because of my love for writing, especially because I’ve been ‘slacking’ on the writing front and I want a challenge. I’m also very passionate about everyday life and sometimes have the most random thoughts and what’s better than having random thoughts??? Sharing them with others 😉 🤔 I’m also passionate about mental health; people’s awareness of their own mental health and that of others. There’s a stigma surrounding mental health, particularly in some cultures and societies, so people tend to talk about mental health in a disparaging manner. Nowadays, it’s getting better, people are more open about discussing mental health and seeking help but we still have a long way to go. Phew! That’s my plug on mental health done!

My target audience is everyone who loves life, who thinks they could do with knowing a bit more about mental health and who wants to discuss things that many young people experience. Being Nigerian, I will sometimes address elements of the Nigerian culture and some stereotypes we might have. I do not mean this disrespectfully, neither am I trying to attack nor trivialize the beliefs of some people #honestly #crossmyheart. If I throw shade or shake a table you’re on, simply climb off 🤣🤣

My aim is to post at least monthly on the blog, on the last Thursday of each month. Some months you might get a treat 😀 and get some extra posts because I’m sweet like that. I’ll be doing different types of pieces such as poems, fiction, information pieces, opinion pieces, etc.

I look forward to reading your comments and getting to know you guys and building a community really. As I mentioned in a previous post, please let’s respect everyone on this platform! If there’s ever something you want me to discuss, just write it in a comment or drop me a line!😀😁

Posted on by Sinmi 10

End of year

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Hallo there. So it’s the end of the year and everyone and their dog is writing about their year and their plans for the new year, goals and all that good stuff. So I’ll jump on the bandwagon 😂😂

Nah seriously … it’s been a bit of a funny year for me but I’m not going to bore you with all the details of my year or maybe I’ll just do it next year once the hype has died down 😂😂😉

I’ve got some tips about end of year/new year.

1) Set time aside to reflect on this year that’s ending. Think about the good, bad and ugly parts of the year. The aim is not to be full of regret, self-pity or shame. No, the aim is to celebrate and be thankful for the good moments; to think about what made the bad moments bad and likewise for the ugly.

2) On the back of no 1:

  • write 5 things you’re thankful for. It may be more or less than 5, there’s no fancy reason for 5 😉
  • 5 things you learned from the bad moments
  • 5 things you’d like to improve next year (from the ugly moments) – can be anything e.g. better coping mechanisms, knowing who to ask for help etc.

3) None of these uber unrealistic goals that you make every year and never achieve. I’m not saying don’t dream big or restrict yourself to ‘small’ things. More on that below.

SMART

4) Ask yourself what you want to achieve this new year. Don’t worry if it’s the same as last year. Rome was not built in a day (trust me I’ve been there 😉). Have smart goals this year. Where possible break things into nice, manageable tasks. If possible, share it someone who can hold you accountable!

5) Learn something new (no matter how small); or improve an existing skill.

6) So you don’t think 5 is my favourite number 🤣🤣🤣

On a serious note though, Be hopeful. Don’t let anyone or anything steal your hope or joy this year. Protect yourself. be proactive, have a contingency plan because there will be things this year that may want to cause you to lose hope or steal your joy. It doesn’t have to be something fancy e.g. a song to de-stress, a close friend to talk to, a bible verse to read, you get the picture. It’ll be better if it’s something easily accessible though.

Have a great year ahead!!!

Posted on by Sinmi 8

Christmas

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Merry Christmas to one and all. It’s the season to be jolly and all that jazz. I would love for everyone to have a swell time at Christmas but unfortunately life happens. I’m not the Grinch, promise.

Truth is, not everyone is jolly and some who are jolly aren’t as jolly as they could be. In fact for some this season is very difficult and that’s exacerbated by the ‘joy’ of everyone. For some, it might be the death of a loved one, for others it might be financial difficulties. Loneliness might be what people are dreading this season.

I’m not saying don’t celebrate Christmas and have a good time but be mindful of others whose day might not be going so well. I’m sure we can all think of someone who might have things rough this season. Spare them a thought and maybe a prayer. Try to reach out to them and try not to use any corny phrases. Let them know you’re there to offer support should the need arise.

Posted on by Sinmi 0

Hello there! I almost can’t believe this is going out … finally. I’ve wanted to start a blog since forever but because of procrastination and fear, I have put it off for the longest time. I have now decided that if I wait for it to be perfect and everything I dream it should be, I’ll never actually do this.

Every so often, I receive ‘ginger’ (motivation) to do the blog and I work on it for a while and then that fire peters out and it goes back on the shelf somewhere. Today I went on Youtube to listen to a song by Teni Entertainer (I love her!) and I saw a video by TY Bello and Tope Alabi which I’ve been meaning to watch. Anyway, as is often the case with YouTube, I did other stuff, except the one thing I went on YouTube to do. Before I closed the app, I decided to click on the song ‘Logan ti o de’ (Instantly) and watch it and it really touched me. I then went on to watch other videos of spontaneous worship and finally got to one titled ‘Amen’. From the first few riffs, there was a connection deep within me and tears started to flow. The waterworks did not ebb throughout the song. Things dropped into my spirit even before TY mentioned them. Dreams and promises that have long been forgotten were called into remembrance and life was breathe upon them. Well, this is one of my dreams and it is receiving life today! I did not really intend to share this story but I think it is important as an introduction (you’ll get a proper one later, trust *wink*) to who I am. My values and my life are very much intertwined with the God that I serve and you’ll see elements of that in the things I say and write (hopefully *laugh) and my opinion on things, in a non-forceful way.

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I must say that my opinions are just that, opinions. I do not expect you to agree with everything I say. I love diversity and the fact that no two humans are the same so I do not wish to squash anyone’s opinions. However, I do have some rules (laying down the law now haha).

  • No name-calling is allowed on this platform. No matter how much someone annoys you or you think their pinion is completely irrational, silly, whatever, no name-calling is allowed!
  • Respect everyone including yourself. Please be respectful, it does not detract anything from the point you are trying to make.
  • No swearing please. Let’s keep it kosher. There might be young-uns on here.

Those are the main things that spring to mind. So … there you have it! A bit of an odd introduction but you are welcome to my blog! I hope we have bags of laughs and also are able to discuss the issues which affect us in a safe space and you’ll get to know along the way. I also look forward to getting to know you guys better. Ciao!

Sinmi

Posted on by Sinmi 4