Hello lovely people. I’ve got a serious topic to discuss today in light of the recent murder of George Floyd. This hit me on different levels and winded me. I couldn’t speak to people about it because it was too upsetting. I’ve finally been able to articulate my thoughts on racism in this article. I know you might not agree with what’s written but we’re not all clones so we ARE allowed to disagree. Still, I’d encourage you to read with an open mind.

It goes without saying that there are different types of discrimination based on skin colour, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, socioeconomic class and many other factors. These are ALL discrimination. However in many instances, (these days) those types of discrimination do not tend to make you fear for your life.

When someone wrongly dies at the hand of some police officials and there is an outcry that #blacklivesmatter, It is not the right time to “counter” that by saying #alllivesmatter. Yes, all lives matter, that is obvious. Yes, black people kill white people. Yes, black people kill other black people. Yes, white people kill other white people. That is not the point at the moment. No one is denying that these things happen. However, to diminish the scale of frustration and anguish of a group of people in a specific scenario with whatboutery because “everybody suffers” is a slap in the face and is insensitive.

It breaks my heart that we as human beings are still grappling (on such a large scale) with issues we should have resolved (at least partially) eons ago.

Nobody deserves to be treated or to die the way George Floyd did. NOBODY! Murder should not be the response to someone “resisting arrest”. Nobody deserves to be treated or to die the way George Floyd did. NOBODY! Murder should not be the response to someone “resisting arrest”. Yes, there are instances where the use of force is justifiable in discharging your duties as a police officer. Those applications of force should not be lethal when there is no objective evidence of threat to life. (This is where the other police officers on the scene are complicit. They did nothing to prevent this man’s death.) Perception of danger should not be correlated with skin colour. You’re not a “Karen”, you’re a police officer. You can’t (shouldn’t) convict (anyone, because you’re neither a judge nor jury) someone as guilty because of their skin colour. I don’t want to digress from my main points so I’ll leave this here. I am talking about what’s happened with George.

The Police who are meant to protect should not be kneeling on someone’s neck to the extent that they die. People cannot fake not having a pulse, at least not to my knowledge. If someone does not have a pulse (aka they are DEAD) and that is not “enough” reason to stop the brutality then I honestly don’t know what will ever be enough. If many people cannot understand that this constitutes an abuse of power and authority then I’d put it to you that we have a LONG way to go.

I understand why people get upset and frustrated with these events when they occur. It’s disheartening especially when you have black children because you wonder if (when) they might experience such brutality.

Some people (whoever they are, they know themselves) are using this frustration and the current emotional climate for their own selfish gain. I do not see how looting somebody’s business helps us to put across the point that police brutality must end. Destroying property and hurting one another is not going to being George or Breonna back. It’s not going to get them justice. We need to think about how we can effectively make our point known such as peaceful protests, petitions, not being silent or complicit when these racist experiences are being perpetrated on a lower, more everyday level. The absence or presence of a social media hashtag or picture is not enough! After posting something online how do you then treat the people you come across?

Some people might consider this next point controversial but 🤷🏾‍♀‍ It is wrong to paint a whole group of people with the same brush because of the actions of a specific subset of bad people within that group. The badly behaved people in a community do not represent the whole community. As such when a black person does something whether good or bad, it speaks to that individual and not to the whole black community. By the same token, when a white police official does something bad, that means they are a bad person. I know they are enabled by flaws in the system that help them get away with these evil acts which makes the enablers and the actual perpetrators complicit in these despicable actions. However, I still believe that does (should) not mean that all white police officials (or people) are bad people. We should be able to condemn the actions of a select few bad eggs and the rotten parts of the crate without throwing the whole crate of eggs away.

Above all, be kind to all. Treat others how you would want to be treated.
If you’re wondering what you could do to make a difference, here are a few examples:

– Educate yourself regarding the history of racial tensions in the western world. Everyone (black and white) needs to educate themselves

– Personal reflection to examine your feelings and fears and how you can practise what you preach

– Get involved in your local community e.g. (enquire about) joining your school, hospital patient focus groups, community clubs

– Write your local MP about some of the problems you’ve noticed and potential solutions

– Sign petitions

https://www.whatsonstage.com/london-theatre/news/black-lives-matter-petitions-resources-more_51727.html

http://chng.it/6f95mydxY7

http://chng.it/MkWQTKJZ98

http://chng.it/5w4ZPtnLDQ

– Be kind in thought, word and action

My grandmother, my last grandparent, died two weeks after celebrating her 97th birthday. I’d always imagined than when she died, all of her grandchildren, maybe great grandchildren and family would be there to celebrate her amazing life. However, due to the travel restrictions currently in place, we can’t be physically there to send her forth. Notwithstanding, we will celebrate her life now and when we are able to, we will celebrate again!

I have written a tribute to my grandmother which I want to share with you all.

My grandmother, a gem of inestimable value, a hero, I stan!

My grandmother was a strong woman in every sense of the word. I’ll talk about her spirituality first because that’s where her strength came from. Grandma loved God and was a good Christian. She was always praying for her loved ones and for this world. She would never end an encounter without a shower of blessings and prayers on me. She loved going to church and worshipping. Even when she wasn’t very strong physically, singing a hymn or worship song called forth strength from her reserves and you’ll find her dancing to her God, the Lover of her soul. Even when she could not physically attend church I remember she’d give my mum her offering money to present on her behalf. That’s how much she loved God. There was never a case of “out of sight, out of mind”. This was her greatest legacy, her love for God that has passed down the generations.

Grandma was a woman of principles and order. She believed things should be done the right way. She was honest and did not believe in cutting corners. Everything she taught me to do had an SOP, yes even making pancakes or semolina. She would measure everything out. She was meticulous.
Grandma believed in education, no matter what form and she took an active role in education. She believed everyone deserves the best standard of education available and did her best to offer her best. I remember her lesson classes for the neighbourhood children in her basement. She was an educator at heart and not only taught arithmetic but also life lessons, morals.

Grandma was hardworking. She was a “go hard or go home” kind of woman… and when I say home, I don’t mean her home. She had no patience for laziness. You couldn’t get away with doing a shabby job for her, she’d find you out. She believed in giving your 100% to everything you did. She led by example in her own life. She gave her all to everything she set her mind to.
Grandma was generous. She always gave to people but she was also financially savvy. She would always ask us what we want and even when we did not ask for anything, we knew we’d get something from her. Her chinchin packages have become legendary amongst our family friends because her generosity extended to them. She was a giver through and through. She gave her money, time and wisdom.

Grandma was loving. She had a large heart and could fit everyone in. She loved fiercely. Oh yes she dished out tough love but that was for our good. She hardly said the words “I love you” but her actions echoed her love.
Grandma was talented. She was a true creative at heart. I wish I’d sat down with her to write down some of her recipes. She could cook up a storm and her repertoire was out of this world. Her alapa was amazing. She could make all sorts of pastries and dishes. She had green hands and was always planting or tending plants. Even in her 80’s I remember her going to water her pawpaw plants. She’d always get my dad to examine her plants when they weren’t doing well and suggest solutions. She had a good sense of humour. I think I get my creative side from her.
There are experiences that grandma and I share. Things that only grandma taught or showed me. Grandma taught me to use the grinding stone (olo) to make small sauce. I remember the frustration of grinding tomatoes on that olo but we did it. I remember fetching water from her konga (well), the earliest time I used or saw a well LOL! She didn’t like us fetching the water from the well ourselves (because we were still young) but one day I did and I think I dropped the doro (water receptacle) in the well!

Grandma taught me to use her Singer sewing machine. Together we made a miniature dress. I always planned to sew an actual outfit with her but never got round to it. Grandma was the only one I wrote to in Yoruba, not because she could not speak English but because it was our thing. It helped me practice my written Yoruba. I looked forward to getting your letters, seeing the curvy, sloping strokes of your writing.
Grandma there is so much you taught me and showed me, so much that I can’t write. I am glad and proud to have had you as my grandma. You will forever be in my heart. I love you dearly.
Your Amopeola

Glossary
SOP – standard operating procedure

Alapa – a local dish made from melon seeds, in the form of a triangular pyramid. Basically moinmoin but made with melon instead of beans

Olo – a slab of stone (?granite) used to puree/grind foods.

Grinding stone

Doro – a water receptacle, usually made of rubber, tied to a rope and used to fetch water from a well.

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